Shopping for clothes is a Boyfriend Thing. You stand around and look blankly at a bunch of pieces of fabric and you look at the price tags and you wonder how something that'd barely cover your right nut can cost the price of a kidney and you watch the shop assistants check you out and wonder what you're doing with her because she's cute and you're kind of funny-looking and she tries clothes on and you look at her ass in a dozen different items that all look exactly the same and let's face it you're just looking at her ass anyway and it all blurs together and then someone sticks a vacuum cleaner in your wallet and vacuums out all the cash and you leave the store with one bag so small that mice couldn't fuck in it. Repeat a dozen times or until the front of your brain dies.
Warren EllisThe two most dangerous things in the world are rich people and crazy people. The Roanokes are rich like pharoahs and crazier'n a snake-fucking baby.
Warren EllisThink about it; the quicktank is given a job most of us would laugh out of town. Build a sophisticated camera capable of full 3-D input and peripheral pickup, using only water and jelly.
Build an eye.
Tag: science spider-jerusalem build-an-eye
If contemporary literary fiction doesn't read a bit like science fiction then it's probably not all that contemporary, is it
Warren EllisTag: science-fiction twitter
What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?
Warren EllisCheap! But not as cheap as your girlfriend.
Warren EllisTag: warren-ellis graphic-novel spider-jerusalem transmetropolitan
Ah, Hollywood. One day, you and I will play Operation. And I'll be the drunk, mad doctor with the hedge trimmer
Warren EllisTag: hollywood
At the departure gate, a drunken airport security woman was handing out box cutters to the passengers.
Warren EllisTag: humor security drunkenness airport
You know what it's like, finding eight middle-aged guys having tantric sex with ostriches?
Warren EllisTag: humor middle-age ostrich tantric-sex
Wolves ate even mighty hunters, for there was no honor or code among predators, and everyone's guts steam the same way when torn open on a cold night.
Warren EllisTag: wolves-predators-guts-steaming
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