أريد أن أعيش في حياتي المقبلة "رجوعاً إلى الخلف" . حيث تبدأ ميتاً ، فتزيح الموت من الطريق ، ثم تستيقظ في دار للمسنين وتشعر أنك تصبح أفضل كل يوم. ثم يطردونك من دار المسنين لكونك قد أصبحت في صحة تامة ، فتذهب لجمع راتبك التقاعدي ،ومن ثم عند بدء العمل ، يهدونك ساعة ذهبية ويقيمون لك حفلة في اليوم الأول . تستمر في العمل لمدة أربعين عاما حتى تصبح شابا بما يكفي لتتمتع بتقاعدك . تذهب إلى الحفلات ، وتشرب الخمر ، وتصير - على وجه العموم - منحلاً ، ثم تصير على استعداد للإلتحاق بالمدارس الثانوية. ثم تنتقل إلى المدرسة الابتدائية ،ثم تصبح طفلا ، تلعب. الآن لا يوجد لديك مسؤوليات ، وتصبح طفلا رضيعاً إلى أن تأتي لحظة ولادتك ، وبعد ذلك تقضي آخر تسعة أشهر من حياتك عائماً في ظروف شبيهة بالمنتجعات الفاخرة ، مستفيداً من التدفئة المركزية وخدمة الغرف ،ويقل حجمك أرباعاً كل يوم ومن ثم ............
فوالاااااااا تنتهي حياتك كهزة جماع

Woody Allen

Tag: حياتي-المقبلة-قص



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It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.

Woody Allen

Tag: writing



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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.

Woody Allen

Tag: humor



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I broke up with this girl, and they put me with a psychiatrist who said, 'Why did you get so depressed, and do all those things you did?' I said, 'I wanted this girl and she left me.'

And he said,'Well, we have to look into that.'

And I said, 'There's nothing to look into! I wanted her and she left me.' And he said, 'Well, why are you feeling so intense?'

And I said, 'Cause I want the girl!' And he said, 'What's underneath it?' And I said, 'Nothing!'

He said, 'I'll have to give you medication.'

I said, 'I don't want medication! I want the girl!'

And he said, 'We have to work this through.'

So, I took a fire extinguisher from the casement and struck him across the back of his neck. And before I knew it, guys from Con Ed had jumper cables in my head and the rest was...

Woody Allen

Tag: humor funny film anything-else



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The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.

Woody Allen

Tag: woody-allen new-jersey



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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.

Woody Allen

Tag: humor love marriage catholics



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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.

Woody Allen

Tag: humor



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Pale, nervous girls with black-rimmed glasses and blunt-cut hair lolled around on sofas, riffling Penguin Classics provocatively… But it wasn’t just intellectual experiences. They were peddling emotional ones, too. For fifty bucks, I learned, you could ‘relate without getting close.’ For a hundred, a girl would lend you her Bartok records, have dinner, and then let you watch while she had an anxiety attack.

Woody Allen


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The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is.

Woody Allen


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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Woody Allen

Tag: love



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