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Memorias de los años veinte

Alice Toklas me preguntó si estaba enamorado de Gertrude Stein ya que le había dedicado un libro de poemas aunque eran de T.S. Eliot y dije que sí, que la amaba, pero el asunto nunca podría funcionar porque ella era demasiado inteligente para mí y Alice Toklas estuvo de acuerdo, y luego nos pusimos unos guantes de boxeo y Gertrude Stein me rompió la nariz.

Woody Allen


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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Woody Allen


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The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.

Woody Allen

Tag: death afterlife



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-Mary: Il sesso senza amore è un'esperienza vuota!
-Isaac: Beh, ma tra le esperienze vuote è una delle migliori.

Woody Allen

Tag: life-experience sex experiences



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La bisessualità raddoppia immediatamente le tue chances al sabato sera.

Woody Allen

Tag: sesso bisessualità



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A realidade é chata, mas ainda é o único lugar onde se pode comer um bom bife

Woody Allen


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You know what you are? You're God's answer to Job, ... He would have pointed to you and said, "Y'know, I do a lot of terrible things, but I can still make one of these.

Woody Allen


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You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life

Woody Allen

Tag: reality creativity perfection



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It was great seeing Annie again. I realised what a terrific person she was and how fun it was just knowing her. And I thought of that old joke, you know. The guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my brother's crazy. He thinks he's a chicken." and the doctor says, "well, why don't you turn him in?" and the guy says, "I would, but o need the eggs." 
Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships. You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd and, but, err, I guess we keep going through it because most of us need the eggs.

Woody Allen

Tag: love



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Aunque sigue siendo discutible que la pena de muerte sirva como disuasorio, los estudios demuestran que la probabilidad de que los criminales reincidan se reduce casi a la mitad después de la ejecución.

Woody Allen

Tag: humor



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