I was increasingly both horrified and sceptical about these memories - I had no recall of these things at all, though I couldn't imagine why I'd want to make it all up either. It felt as though it had all happened to somebody else, I was not there - it wasn't me - when those people did nasty things.
But then, of course, it didn't feel like me, that's the whole point of dissociation - to create distance between the victim and her experience of the abuse. The alters were created for just that purpose: so that I'd not be aware that it happened to me, but rather to "others". The trouble is, in reality it was my body that took the abuse. It was only my mind that was divided, and sooner or later the amnesic barriers were bound to come down.
And that's exactly what had begun to happen as I heard their stories. They triggered a vague and growing sense in me that this really is my story.
Tag: secrets memories amnesia dissociation ritual-abuse abuse multiplicity dissociative-identity-disorder multiple-personality-disorder amnesiac childhood-abuse satanic-ritual-abuse mpd
Underlying the attack on psychotherapy, I believe, is a recognition of the potential power of any relationship of witnessing. The consulting room is a privileged space dedicated to memory. Within that space, survivors gain the freedom to know and tell their stories. Even the most private and confidential disclosure of past abuses increases the likelihood of eventual public disclosure. And public disclosure is something that perpetrators are determined to prevent. As in the case of more overtly political crimes, perpetrators will fight tenaciously to ensure that their abuses remain unseen, unacknowledged, and consigned to oblivion.
The dialectic of trauma is playing itself out once again. It is worth remembering that this is not the first time in history that those who have listened closely to trauma survivors have been subject to challenge. Nor will it be the last. In the past few years, many clinicians have had to learn to deal with the same tactics of harassment and intimidation that grassroots advocates for women, children and other oppressed groups have long endured. We, the bystanders, have had to look within ourselves to find some small portion of the courage that victims of violence must muster every day.
Some attacks have been downright silly; many have been quite ugly. Though frightening, these attacks are an implicit tribute to the power of the healing relationship. They remind us that creating a protected space where survivors can speak their truth is an act of liberation. They remind us that bearing witness, even within the confines of that sanctuary, is an act of solidarity. They remind us also that moral neutrality in the conflict between victim and perpetrator is not an option. Like all other bystanders, therapists are sometimes forced to take sides. Those who stand with the victim will inevitably have to face the perpetrator's unmasked fury. For many of us, there can be no greater honor. p.246 - 247
Judith Lewis Herman, M.D. February, 1997
Tag: fear power courage bravery honor healing victim survivors recovery psychotherapy therapy abuse-of-power victims survivor abuse survivorship attacks victimization abused-women victim-blaming trauma-survivors oppressed false-memory
…is methodical abuse, often using indoctrination, aimed at breaking the will of another human being. In a 1989 report, the Ritual Abuse Task Force of the L.A. County Commission for Women defined ritual abuse as: “Ritual Abuse usually involves repeated abuse over an extended period of time. The physical abuse is severe, sometimes including torture and killing. The sexual abuse is usually painful,humiliating, intended as a means of gaining dominance over the victim.The psychological abuse is devastating and involves the use of ritual indoctrination. It includes mind control techniques which convey to the victim a profound terror of the cult members …most victims are in a state of terror, mind control and dissociation” (Pg. 35-36)
Chrystine OksanaTag: fear murder rape killing ritual torture healing indoctrination recovery terror humiliation dissociation cult abuse-of-power trauma victims ritual-abuse sexual-abuse abuse mind-control traumatic-experiences satanic-ritual-abuse psychological-abuse
Ritual abuse diagnosis research – excerpt from a chapter in: Lacter, E.
James Randall NoblittTag: media mental-health dissociation cult schizophrenia trauma ritual-abuse abuse false-memories hospitals mind-control dissociative-identity-disorder trauma-experiences satanic-ritual-abuse mpd
By the time Cheryl Hersha came to the facility, knowledge of multiple personality was so complete that doctors understood how the mind separated into distinct ego states, each unaware of the other. First, the person traumatized had to be both extremely intelligent and under the age of seven, two conditions not yet understood though remaining consistent as factors. The trauma was almost always of a sexual nature… (p52)
Cheryl HershaTag: personalities government-corruption torture dissociation trauma ritual-abuse sexual-abuse abuse multiplicity mind-control childhood-trauma monarch childhood-abuse government-cover-ups mpd human-rights-abuse human-rights-violations mk-ultra mkultra sexual-torture
The government researchers,aware of the information in the professional journals, decided to reverse the process (of healing from hysteric dissociation). They decided to use selective trauma on healthy children to create personalities capable of committing acts desired for national security and defense.” p. 53 – 54
Cheryl HershaTag: government-corruption healing dissociation sexual-abuse abuse multiplicity national-security dissociative-identity-disorder childhood-trauma childhood-abuse government-cover-ups mpd mk-ultra mkultra mutliple-personalities
Why Cults Terrorize and Kill Children – LLOYD DEMAUSE
The Journal of Psychohistory 21 (4) 1994
"Extending these local figures to a national estimate would easily mean tens of thousands of cult victims per year reporting, plus undoubtedly more who do not report.(2) This needn’t mean, of course, that actual Cult abuse is increasing, only that-as with the increase in all child abuse reports-we have become more open to hearing them. But it seemed unlikely that the surge of cult memories could all be made up by patients or implanted by therapists. Therapists are a timid group at best, and the notion that they suddenly begin implanting false memories in tens of thousands of their clients for no apparent reason strained credulity. Certainly no one has presented a shred of evidence for massive “false memory” implantations.
Tag: psychotherapy therapy cult trauma ritual-abuse abuse false-memories therapists trauma-survivors satanic-ritual-abuse cult-abuse trauma-therapist
Have you ever felt as if your dreams were more memorable, more alive, than what you knew to be reality? Have your dreams ever seemed so tangible as to make you question upon waking if you’d truly only dreamt them? Have they at times been addictive enough to consume your waking hours; blurring actuality and pretend together until your wishes and passions stare back at you with open eyes?
If only dreams could be reality, that beautiful garden of sweet-smelling roses we all long for. But reality for me is no such bed of roses. It is nothing but a field of unwanted dandelions."
- From the thoughts of Annabelle Fancher
Tag: dreams fantasy child-abuse abuse dandelions richelle annabelle richelle-goodrich annabelle-fancher
He panted over me, winded by his own absurd lecture. The stench of his alcoholic breath stung my nose. Again I didn’t answer. I hoped he’d tire out and end his speech and hobble back to the living room without touching me. Such hopes were unlikely, as was the case this time.
“Answer me, you good-for-nuthin’ wench!”
The pain bit instantly as his hand connected with my cheek. I shook my head in answer to his crazy questions, feeling a rise of warm tears.
Tag: fear alcoholism child-abuse abuse dandelions richelle annabelle richelle-goodrich
The fact is, the man who’d begotten me didn’t want me. In his eyes I should never have been born. And perhaps that would’ve been best. As it was, my existence had proven to be nothing more than a nuisance for everyone. I angered my father, brought strife upon my mother, irritated my teachers, and annoyed the other children who were forced to interact with me in school. All by simply being.
When you aren’t loved, you aren’t real. Life is cold, like the stone against my palm.
Tag: child-abuse abuse richelle annabelle unwanted unloved richelle-goodrich
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