I am hell with a knife and there is nothing I can really do about it but try and keep my mouth shut and try not to let it show.
Lynda BarryPornind de la «metoda Tillich» de inlocuire a angoasei cu frica, am putea gandi un alt mecanism de aparare in fata angoasei, desprins din metodologia nihilista (si anume fight fire with fire). Presupune un efort mental considerabil, cel de a inlocui o indeterminare anxioasa cu alta (absenta obiectului este tocmai miza acestui efort), mai exact un efort de imaginatie, prin care este ceruta o anumita putere de absetractie: ca si cum am cartografia un neant si apoi l-am inlocui cu altul. Presupunand ca recunoastem angoasa, in ciuda absentei definite a obiectului (de ex. mi-e frica de frica de moarte), o putem inlocui din gama larga de anxietati personalizate cu alta, la fel de indeterminata (de ex. mi-e frica de frica de durere). Prin aceasta mutam campul de actiune al angoasei, ca intr-un joc in care non-obiectul angoasei isi pierde conturul. Aceasta metoda presupune un mecanism performant, prin care recunoastem anxietatile dupa gustul lor. Fiind lipste de obiect, ele pot fi identificate dupa o anumuia culoare: important este sa le imprimam acea culoare, care ne permite sa luptam impotriva lor; inregistrandu-le, ele devin (aproximativ) benigne. De exemplu, angoasa cu care suntem obisnuiti poate fi mai usor de combatut decat cea care vine pe neasteptate. Nu poate fi vorba de cunoastere aici, pentru ca absenta obiectului paralizeaza aspectele cognitive, ci de o anumita intuitie, care transfera conturul unei angoase pe profilul alteia (cu care suntem relativ obisnuiti sa convietuim).
Ştefan BoleaTag: angst
What were you doing with her?” The words burst from my lips. Before I can take them back, he stares at me.
I stare back at him as the silence stretches onwards.
We’re both stiff. He says nothing.
“Maybe I should ask you the same thing.”
I shake my head, my nails digging into my palms.
Then before I can react, he has pushed me roughly up the wall, his eyes now dark and fiery, like a storm ready to unleash itself. Good. He’s mad too. His hands force me to the wall as he presses his body against mine. The intensity of the move, the feel of him makes my breath hitch.
“Get off me,” I seethe, pounding my fists into his chest but Adrian keeps me locked in place, so that his breath caresses my ear.
“Were you guys too rushed?’ He mocks. “Too desperate to book a hotel room?”
I can barely stifle a disgusted snort. “What are you talking about?” Fury pumps through my head. “A hotel room? What kind of girl do you think I am—mmf?”
He moves against me, moving to kiss me. The moment where his lips meet mine hard and unyielding. He tastes of smoke and lipgloss—and I’m reminded of the scene earlier where he and Lauren got out of the closet together. Disgust fills me as I squirm in his arms.
He groans, fire burning in his voice. “You want me, you’re trying to hide from it.”
“No,” I try to bite the words at him but it comes out strangled.
I try to push him away but before I have to, he releases me.
I try to put as much distance between him and myself, shaking.
Loathing is my voice. "Get away from me. I hate you."
He swallows and looks away, his breathing slowing. He pushes himself from the wall, still very pale.
Then closing his eyes and turning, he starts walking away, heading towards the parking lot.
"I hate you!" I scream again behind him.
Adrian stops for a moment, his back to me. “I’ve told you from the very beginning. You should.”
He keeps on walking, never glancing back.
Tag: angst sexual-tension anti-hero
When merely meeting someone is ridden with angst and open to misinterpretation, is it any wonder she is so hopeless at relationships.
Sarah RaynerTag: relationships angst misinterpretation
Why does it hurt so much? Why does it have to hurt?
Zoë MarriottThey had lied, those who had extolled the virtues of love—its pleasures, its sublimity—those who had told her that it was beautiful and worthwhile.
There was nothing beautiful about it.
It was awful.
Tag: pain love angst heartbreak
I see how it is,” I snapped. “You were all in favor of me breaking the tattoo and thinking on my own—but that’s only okay if it’s convenient for you, huh? Just like your ‘loving from afar’ only works if you don’t have an opportunity to get your hands all over me. And your lips. And . . . stuff.”
Adrian rarely got mad, and I wouldn’t quite say he was now. But he was definitely exasperated. “Are you seriously in this much self-denial, Sydney? Like do you actually believe yourself when you say you don’t feel anything? Especially after what’s been happening between us?”
“Nothing’s happening between us,” I said automatically. “Physical attraction isn’t the same as love. You of all people should know that.”
“Ouch,” he said. His expression hadn’t changed, but I saw hurt in his eyes. I’d wounded him. “Is that what bothers you? My past? That maybe I’m an expert in an area you aren’t?”
“One I’m sure you’d just love to educate me in. One more girl to add to your list of conquests.”
He was speechless for a few moments and then held up one finger. “First, I don’t have a list.” Another finger, “Second, if I did have a list, I could find someone a hell of lot less frustrating to add to it.” For the third finger, he leaned toward me. “And finally, I know that you know you’re no conquest, so don’t act like you seriously think that. You and I have been through too much together. We’re too close, too connected. I wasn’t that crazy on spirit when I said you’re my flame in the dark. We chase away the shadows around each other. Our backgrounds don’t matter. What we have is bigger than that. I love you, and beneath all that logic, calculation, and superstition, I know you love me too. Running away and fleeing all your problems isn’t going to change that. You’re just going to end up scared and confused.”
“I already feel that way,” I said quietly.
Adrian moved back and leaned into his seat, looking tired. “Well, that’s the most accurate thing you’ve said so far.”
I grabbed the basket and jerked open the car door. Without another word, I stormed off, refusing to look back in case he saw the tears that had inexplicably appeared in my eyes. Only, I wasn’t sure exactly which part of our conversation I was most upset about.
Tag: argument angst heartbreak quarrel adrian-ivashkov sydney-sage denial-of-feelings
Do you know what I see in you now? The usual aura. A steady golden yellow, healthy and strong, with spikes of purple here and there. But when I do this. . . .”
He rested a hand on my hip, and my whole body tensed up. That hand moved around my hip, slipping under my shirt to rest on the small of my back. My skin burned where he touched me, and the places that were untouched longed for that heat.
“See?” he said. He was in the throes of spirit now, though with me at the same time. “Well, I guess you can’t. But when I touch you, your aura . . . it smolders. The colors deepen, it burns more intensely, the purple increases. Why? Why, Sydney?” He used that hand on me to pull me closer. “Why do you react that way if I don’t mean anything to you?” There was a desperation in his voice, and it was legitimate.
Tag: love feelings angst attraction tension adrian-ivashkov aura sydney-sage denial-of-feelings
Soli fjella, glein og glatt,
fjell står att og stengjer …
Alt er tagna. Ned kjem natt
på breie, svarte vengjer,
då vaknar dulde strengjer.
Og Sátan kjem med all sin her,
og Himmelørn og Herrens vêr,
og angest-orm,
og eld og storm,
og lògen stri’r som villast,
og det er natt som stillast.
Tag: life night darkness angst nynorsk
I knew I was high maintenance and he was obviously going to be the same
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