The very sight of a daffodil still makes me shiver, because spring in the north of England is always so bitter.

Bea Davenport

Tag: humour spring flower weather british daffodil

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I grinned. "I'm anybody's for a cuppa and a biscuit.

David Stuart Davies

Tag: humour tea british

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Ah. And then you kill him."
"No," Arkwright replied patiently. "We are British. We avoid murder if we can help it.{...}

Rick Yancey

Tag: murder british spoiler arkwright

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Royal Young's writing is that rare blend of irony and beauty.

Simon Van Booy

Tag: beauty romance fame celebrity irony british simon-van-booy

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He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. The way it functioned was very interesting. When the Drink button was pressed it made an instant but highly detailed examination of the subject’s taste buds, a spectroscopic analysis of the subject’s metabolism and then sent tiny experimental signals down the neural pathways to the taste centers of the subject’s brain to see what was likely to go down well. However, no one knew quite why it did this because it invariable delivered a cupful of liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. The Nutri-Matic was designed and manufactured by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation whose complaint department now covers all the major landmasses of the first three planets in the Sirius Tau Star system.

Douglas Adams

Tag: humor tea british

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By now there were whole new Industrial Revolutions going on in the Low Earths; the British seemed to have the building of steam engines and railways in their genes.

Stephen Baxter

Tag: british

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[Taken from a BBC documentary]

Tariq was born in Lahore, now in Pakistan, then part of British-ruled India, in 1943. A Catholic school education did nothing to shake his life-long atheism, which he shared with his communist parents.

Tariq Ali

Tag: education atheism atheist communism catholic biography british india communist colonialism pakistan lahore

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1. You left a multipack of Mars Bars on top of your wardrobe. Can I have one? Dad x

2. I had three. Hope that's OK. Dad x

3. I'm just going to have one more. Dad x

4. Harriet, your Dad's made himself sick on an entire multipack of Mars Bars again. Please don't leave sweets where we can find them. A x

Holly Smale

Tag: humour funny british texting

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