If you can try to nap where someone's sitting,
Although there is another empty chair,
Then rub against his ankle without quitting
Until he rises from your favorite lair;
If you can whine and whimper by a portal
Until the bolted door is opened wide,
Then howl as if you've got a wound that's mortal
Until he comes and lets you back inside;

If you can give a guest a nasty spiking,
But purr when you are petted by a thief;
If you can find the food not to your liking
Because they put some cheese in with the beef;
If you can leave no proffered hand unbitten,
And pay no heed to any rule or ban,
then all will say you are a Cat, my kitten.
And -- which is more -- you'll make a fool of Man!

Henry N. Beard

Tag: humor cats rudyard-kipling



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From CATS ARE KIND

"I saw a dog pursuing automobiles;
On and on he sped.
I was puzzled by this;
I accosted the dog.
'If you catch one,' I said
'What will you do with it?'

'Dumb cat,' he cried,
And ran on.

Henry N. Beard

Tag: humor cats stephen-crane



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From CATS ARE KIND

"A man said to the universe,
'Sir, I exist!'
'Excellent,' replied the universe,
'I've been looking for someone to take care of my cats.

Henry N. Beard

Tag: humor cats stephen-crane



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Let us roam then, you and I,
When the evening is splayed out across the sky
[...]
Paths that follow like a nagging accusation
Of a minor violation
To lead you to the ultimate reproof ...
Oh, do not say, 'Bad kitty!'
Let us go and prowl the city.

In the rooms the cats run to and fro
Auditioning for a Broadway show."

(From The Love Song of J. Morris Housecat)

Henry N. Beard

Tag: humor cats prufrock t-s-eliot



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Tag: humor cats prufrock t-s-eliot



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A kitten is, in the animal world, what a rosebud is in the garden.

Robert Sowthey

Tag: cats animals kittens



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Dewey sent him, I thought, when I saw those eyes.

Vicki Myron

Tag: cats true-love dewey



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I hope people don't take kittens on a whim, like they would a toy, then not care for them.

Shirley Rousseau Murphy

Tag: cats impulse kittens humane



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I love cats, they're great; intelligent, affectionate, lovable, and this one was particularly nice, so picking it up and giving it a few slaps and a bit of a rough time was galling, even though it was unfortunately necessary. See, if you're hiding in someone's spare bedroom waiting for them to turn in for the night, the last thing you need is a cat meowing at the door trying to get in to see you because you've been stroking it all day. A bit of a shake and a growl in the cat's face and that's all that's usually needed for it to give the spare room and the horrible bastard inside a wide berth for the rest of the night.

Danny King

Tag: cats hitman



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Be careful with this one" said Dina, bending down to greet the cat. "All cats are half jinn, but I think she's three quarters.

G. Willow Wilson

Tag: cats djinn jinn



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