Ricky just listens. He isn't shocked. He isn't surprised. He listens to me because he knows. He knows the shame and the guilt and the sorrow and the rage. And he does not judge me. He just listens.
Emily AndrewsTag: fear rage sadness sorrow judgement shame anger depression surprise listening child-abuse judging shock
Denial is commonly found among persons with dissociative disorders. My favorite quotation from such a client is, "We are not multiple, we made it all up." I have heard this from several different clients. When I hear it, I politely inquire, "And who is we?
Alison MillerTag: denial dissociation child-abuse child-sexual-abuse dissociative-identity-disorder multiple-personality-disorder split-personality childhood-abuse dissociative-disorders ddnos
the abuser's desire to abuse is not created by the child - it is there before the child appears
Carolyn AinscoughTag: shame desire blame child-abuse abuse child-sexual-abuse pedophiles sexual-abse
Like Jocelyn, Survivors often think: * That’s just the way I am
* I’m not lovable, that’s why I keep having disastrous relationships
* I’m not very clever, that’s why I didn’t do well at school
* I’m a loner
* I’m a weak person
* I’m not very nice
* I was a difficult child
Many survivors find it difficult to accept that being sexually abused as a child can continue to affect them many years later. It may seem too fantastic, or too frightening an idea to believe.
David Finkelhor, an American researcher, has tried to explain how sexual abuse affects a child and leads to long-term problems. He suggests four ways in which childhood sexual abuse causes problems:
1 Traumatic Sexualization
2 Stigmatization
3 Betrayal
4 Powerlessness
Tag: child-abuse survivor abuse child-sexual-abuse sexual-assault pedophile childhood-abuse child-rape david-finkelhor
Child abuse damages a person for life and that damage is in no way diminished by the ignorance of the perpetrator. It is only with the uncovering of the complete truth as it affects all those involved that a genuinely viable solution can be found to the dangers of child abuse.
Alice MillerTag: child-abuse damage childhood-abuse
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