Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of "Tangled Up in Blue" in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well, you know, Bob Dylan.
Christopher MooreTag: christopher-moore the-stupidest-angel
Even a mentally challenged shark would figure out that sea turtles did not wear boxer shorts printed in flying piggies, and no sea turtle would be yattering streams of obscenities between chain-smoker gasps of breath.
Christopher MooreTag: christopher-moore island-of-the-sequined-love-nun
Alive," Kimi interrupted. "I get you out of typhoon alive and you just yell and say bad things. I quit. You get new navigator. Roberto say you mean, nasty, Chevy-driving, milk-drinking, American dog f*cker."
I don't drink milk," Tuck said. Ha! Won that round.
Tag: christopher-moore island-of-the-sequined-love-nun
Yo, yo, yo, check it out," said PJ, with enough hand gestures that any deaf person watching would have thought he had ASL Tourette's syndrome
Christopher MooreTag: christopher-moore you-suck
I was all, "Oh, dog, Countess gonna crack open a forty of whup-ass on you now. Oh, you in the sh*t now, wigga!" (I am not incline to use hip-hop vernacular often, but there are times when, like French, it just better expresses the sentiment of the moment.) -Abby
Christopher MooreTag: christopher-moore you-suck
Jody noticed that the kid was focused on the breasts, which were defying gravity, and apparently death itself, by standing there at complete attention
Christopher MooreTag: christopher-moore you-suck
Like last year I took Advance Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually took a nap. Which was fine, because I'm not even thrilled about regular foods, so, you know, what do I need with like advanced digital HD wi-fi foods and whatnot? -Abby
Christopher MooreTag: christopher-moore you-suck
And he was like "The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk -" -Abby
Christopher MooreTag: christopher-moore you-suck
Love? Sodding, bloody, tossing, bloody, sodding, bloody love? Irrelevant, superfluous, bloody, ruddy, rotten, sodding love? What ho? Wherefore? What the f*ck? Love?
Christopher MooreTag: fool christopher-moore
Not yet!" said she [Goneril], trying to roll me over and get back to smacking my bum.
She honked my codpiece.
You honked my codpiece."
Aye, give it up, fool." [...]
Tag: fool christopher-moore
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