You watch pro ball and those guys spend so much time with their hands on each other's rear ends, you'd think they were feeling for diamonds or something.

Catherine Gilbert Murdock

Tag: humor funny football butts



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Where else but America could football flourish, America with its millions of fertile acres of corn, soy, and wheat, its lakes of dairy, its year-round gushers of fruits and vegetables, and such meats, that extraordinary pipline of beef, poultry, seafood, and pork, feedlot gorged, vitamin enriched, and hypodermically immunized, humming factories of high-velocity protein production, all of which culminate after several generations of epic nutrition in this strain of industrial-sized humans? Only America could produce such giants.

Ben Fountain

Tag: excess football americana



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Billy tries to imagine the vast systems that support these athletes. They are among the best-cared for creatures in the history of the planet, beneficiaries of the best nutrition, the latest technologies, the finest medical care, they live at the very pinnacle of American innovation and abundance, which inspires an extraordinary thought - send them to fight the war! Send them just as they are this moment, well rested, suited up, psyched for brutal combat, send the entire NFL! Attack with all our bears and raiders, our ferocious redskins, our jets, eagles, falcons, chiefs, patriots, cowboys - how could a bunch of skinny hajjis in man-skits and sandals stand a chance against these all-Americans? Resistance is futile, oh Arab foes. Surrender now and save yourself a world of hurt, for our mighty football players cannot be stopped, they are so huge, so strong, so fearsomely ripped that mere bombs and bullets bounce off their bones of steel. Submit, lest our awesome NFL show you straight to the flaming gates of hell!

Ben Fountain

Tag: sarcasm football



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You know I'll never say no, and Nate's so dedicated, I think he loves our alpha more than me."

"I resent that," Nate grumbled. "I might love football more than you, but definitely not Lucas's ugly mug.

Nalini Singh

Tag: love football nate lucas tasmyn



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Why isn’t it fun to watch a videotape of last night’s football game even when we don’t know who won? Because the fact that the game has already been played precludes the possibility that our cheering will somehow penetrate the television, travel through the cable system, find its way to the stadium, and influence the trajectory of the ball as it hurtles toward the goalposts!

Daniel Todd Gilbert

Tag: control sports influence football



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I'm a minicamp body in 102-degree heat getting screamed at by the only other man my size: a middle-aged receivers coach they call Bow Wow.

Christopher Harris

Tag: fiction literary football



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I learned a long time ago that there is something worse than missing the goal, and that's not pulling the trigger.

Mia Hamm

Tag: sports football soccer shooting mia work-hard futbol hamm mia-hamm



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Football is the poetry of a motion.

Pubudu Lasal Dissanayake

Tag: poetry sports football quotes soccer sport quote-of-the-day manchester-united-fc ggmu poetry-sport quote-of-football quote-of-sport



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Matthew had won this battle—a battle in a war marked no more by yards on an open field, but by scars unseen.

Steve V. Cypert

Tag: football battle win won war-wounds



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Will we ever see his like again? It is doubtful. But at least for a brief moment in time we were lucky to have him as one of our own: an English lionheart who was the terror of the continent, who earned the love and respect of everyone who had the privilege to see him in action and above all was a thoroughly decent hero of whom we can be proud. Rest in peace 'Big Dunc'. Your feats will echo in eternity.

James Leighton

Tag: sports football biography busby-babes duncan-edwards manchester-united



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