Seth rolled his eyes. “Because you’re such a ladies man.”
“I can be. I just have standards, is all. I’m very selective about who I choose to spend time with, whereas you’ll fuck anything that moves. And several things that don’t.
Tag: fuck funny-humor seth dino
Now all I have to worry about is what might crawl out of the darkness to get me in the night.”
“Yeah, well, I think there’s a box of doughnuts under the chair. You can toss those to distract it.
Tag: funny-humor seth dino
The crowd quieted as a whole, but more than one creature cursed under his breath, "Not Regin."
A drunk hunched over the bar muttered, "That glowing one made me eat a transistor radio once.
Tag: funny-humor
Wait!" Conrad said. "Did someone... one of my enemies set this fire?"
Nix turned back with a grin. "Unless you'd pissed off some wirring-hungry nutrias, then I'm going with no.
Tag: funny-humor
You're a goose-down parka and a pair of mittens away from Narnia
C. KoehlerTag: funny-humor
So I see you got to know Trish on a pretty intimate level tonight,” Max said, focusing her attention back on the present as they made their way down the deserted roads back to her house.
“She was definitely…friendly.”
What Landon casually defined as friendly was what Max more accurately described as molestation. Her hands had disappeared under the table, rubbing his leg or whatever she was doing, more times than she spent holding her damn cards. Landon’s indifference to the whole thing was entirely impossible to read. Was he enjoying the attention? Wouldn’t any man? Not that it was any of her business. Landon was just some guy that she’d let stay with her for a few days. The fact that he was good-looking was irrelevant. Trish could have him for all she cared as long as they kept the indecencies out of her house.
“Well, don’t you worry about her. She’s a bit of a flirt when she’s drunk. I’m pretty sure she’d hit on a monkey.”
“You just compared me to a monkey and you don’t want me to worry?”
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t.”
“Don’t tell me that girls like that actually appeal to you.”
“Jealous?”
“Hardly,” Max shot back defensively. “I just pegged you for a man with higher standards that’s all.” She couldn’t really say why she’d chosen to share her opinion. No harm in giving the guy a little warning, right?
“You’ve pegged me for a lot of things.
Tag: funny-humor love-the-wanderer
I'm good at blowjob.
Lauren BakerTag: sex erotic funny-humor blow-job finding-home
One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.
Carroll BryantTag: humor funny comedy humorous comedy-humor comical funny-humor relationship-humor
How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?
Carroll BryantTag: humor funny humorist humorous funny-humor funny-satire
Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.
Carroll BryantTag: humor humorous hilarious comical funny-but-true funny-humor funny-as-hell funny-but-sad
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