You look worse today than you did when you had two black
eyes.”
“Why, thank you, Tyler. You always say the sweetest things.

Gwen Hayes

Tag: funny-quotes



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Liebe auf den ersten Blick existierte. Vielleicht nicht unbedingt zwischen Männern und Frauen. Aber definitiv zwischen Frauen und ganz bestimmten Klamotten. Ich sah es auf den ersten Blick – dieses Kleid und ich, wir waren füreinander geschaffen.

Emilia Polo

Tag: women clothes funny-quotes



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Was it just her, or did lovers look more adoringly at each other in this city? Especially in the springtime.

'Die, bastards.'

She sighed. It wasn't their fault that they were bastards who should die.

Kresley Cole

Tag: romance funny funny-quotes



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My mother, my psychiatrist and an assortment of sedatives eventually convinced me I was delusional.

Wayne Gerard Trotman

Tag: psychology delusions drugs mother psychoanalysis psychiatry psychiatrist delusional funny-quotes sedatives



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I've decided I don't like books that end with 'The End'. The fact that there are no more pages, suggests to me that the book has ended.

Wayne Gerard Trotman

Tag: books writing ending the-end funny-quotes



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We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.

Eddie Izzard

Tag: hope funny-quotes



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She stared into his eyes and announced, “A good-bye kiss.”
It was at that Raid stopped dead. “What?”
“Raiden, the gig is up,” she declared, and Raid closed his eyes.
Jesus, how could the woman be so infuriating and so fucking cute all at once?
He opened his eyes and asked, “The gig is up?”
She leaned into him and hissed, “Yes.”
Fuck, he wanted to kiss her.
He also wanted to shake her.
“Baby, it’s jig,” he corrected, and her head jerked, which made that mess of hair on her head jerk, which reminded him he wanted his hands in that hair.
Then elsewhere.
He needed to speed this shit up.
“Sorry?” she asked, sounding confused, and he looked from her hair to her eyes and saw she was, in fact, confused.
Yeah. Infuriating. And fucking cute.
“The jig is up, not the gig,” he told her.
Her eyes narrowed. “Seriously? You’re correcting my street lingo?”
“Think that street lingo was the street lingo about eight decades ago, Hanna. So now it’s just lingo.

Kristen Ashley

Tag: humor language-understanding funny-as-hell funny-quotes gig jig



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Everybody! This is my cousin right here, and he just dethroned God's gift to Women - Griffin

S.C. Stephens

Tag: humor hilarious griffin funny-quotes d-bags



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Jeez, you’re strong.” And you, Sam, are a conversational reject.

Anne Tenino

Tag: sam funny-quotes



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I don’t think this is working out between us,” I told him. “You and I want different things. It’s not me, it’s you.

T.J. Klune

Tag: funny-quotes



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