V.L.A.D.: Vampire League Against Discrimination.

Carrie Vaughn

Tag: humor funny vampires vlad acronim



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Oh come now," Bast reproached, his smile falling away. "That's just insulting."
"By earth and stone, I abjure you!" Kote dipped his fingers into the cup by his side and flicked droplets
casually in Bast's direction. "Glamour be banished!"
"With cider?" Bast managed to look amused and annoyed at the same time as he daubed a bead of liquid
from the front of his shirt. "This better not stain.

Patrick Rothfuss

Tag: funny glamour stain cider



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SAINT, n. A dead sinner revised and edited.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: humor funny myth definition fables revision legends revisionist



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Though I have started emailing with one of my fellow readers whenever there's something important to say about Modern Family or Friday Night Lights, and with another when I notice her updates on Goodreads.com.

Rachel Bertsche

Tag: funny nonfiction goodreads



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Do you have ovaries?" Jacob asked.
I shot him a look. "Yes"
He slid down the back of the couch and sat beside Brittany. "Then how are you not intrested?

J. Lynn

Tag: funny wait-for-you



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Two seconds later, the sound of an alarm filled my ears.
''What did you do?'' I said over the noise as he backed up towards the bathroom door.
''The girl who gave you the note?''
''Yes...''
''I caught her staring at my lighter.''
I blinked. ''You gave a child, in a psych ward , a lighter?''
His eyes crinkled at the corners. ''She seemed trustworthy.''
''You're sick,'' I said, but smiled.
''Hey, nobody's perfect. '' Noah smiled back.

Michelle Hodkin

Tag: pain love romance funny quotes noah-shaw



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Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love food sex funny fruit naughty banana peel condom



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I love like I’m thirsty. Can I offer you a tall glass of Sahara sand?


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor kindness love food funny desert hospitality thirst drink thirsty sand sahara



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I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love nature death water relationships funny winter river cold freezing ice freeze drown



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They told me that nothing was a sin, just a poor life choice. Poor impulse control. That nothing is evil. Any concept of right versus wrong, according to them, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. They said that if anything should force us to modify our personal behavior it should be our allegiance to a social contract, not some vague, externally imposed threat of flaming punishment.

Chuck Palahniuk

Tag: humor motivational life inspirational heaven funny hell earth fun true



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