Suzanne glanced over at her, eyebrow raised. “Is there an anaconda?” she asked, like it had suddenly occurred to her she could be totally wrong.
Tamara should only be so lucky. “No, there’s no anaconda, I can promise you that.” Not even a garden snake.

Erin McCarthy

Tag: funny erin-mccarthy flat-out-sexy



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What if I got hit by lightning while walking with an umbrella? Ban umbrellas! Fight the menace of lightning!

Cory Doctorow

Tag: humor humour computers funny lightning terrorism banning umbrellas



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Don't make me angry-kiss you.

Rainbow Rowell

Tag: funny levi



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That's not what he meant," Rachel says again, pink flushing her cheeks.
"Actually, I meant-" I start to say, but Willow cuts me off.
"What? It's true. He looks at you like he'd like to dip you in sugar and eat you up.

C.J. Redwine

Tag: funny defiance rachel logan



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The same beautiful receptionist greeted Christian who had met him before and she extended the same lush invitation as she had the last time. Victoria's eyes narrowed and Christian chuckled under his breath at her jealousy."Relax chérie, she's paid to do that." "Well, she didn't come on to me, so obviously she's not doing her job properly," Victoria said. Christian laughed.

Amalie Howard

Tag: romantic jealousy funny supernatural ya



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I frowned as my fingers throbbed. “Wait a sec. There’s a chance I can’t work with fire and you let me do that?”“How else am I going to figure out your limitations?”
“What the hell!” I pulled my hand free, furious. “That’s not cool, Blake. What’s next? Trying to stop a moving vehicle by standing in front of it, but whoops, I can’t do that and now I’m dead?

Jennifer L. Armentrout

Tag: funny aliens training ya death-jokes ssupernatural



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Manners,” I say. “It ain't polite to taste people. Shit.

Nenia Campbell

Tag: humor manners politeness random funny



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Men can beat each other to a pulp and still walk away friends. With a woman, once an enemy, always an enemy. Women will sit like a spider, for years, waiting for the chance to strike. They never forget and seldom forgive.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Tag: funny men-and-women



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I'm leaving the door partly open," he says as he follows Tegan. "You scream if you need me."
Once he is outside, Richard says, "He does realize that if he hears your scream, it's already too late.

J.A. London

Tag: funny vampires



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The dog growled again, long and ferocious. The hair on my neck tingled.

And just when I knew he would attack, a horrible scream split the air, and Darlene passed out and fell over on her side.

Carol Petrie

Tag: humor books funny childrens kids



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