[He] carefully put a funky-looking pair of reading glasses on her. "There we go. How are they?"
She blinked experimentally, peering around the room. "Good, I think. Thank you."
"Wear them the next time we f***. That would be thanking me."
"Aww. You say the sweetest things."
"Don't I?
Let her go in with him."
(...)
"Actually, I feel quite endangered by her presence. Dont you, Lila?"
"Absolutely," said Lila. "She terrifies me. Right Sean?"
"Shit." Sean wiped a hand over his face. (...) Lila raised her eyebrows and the Viking groaned in defeat. "Never been so scared in my life. She's so small and ...wounded."
"Please, Finn," said Ali, her eyes full of warmth and good humor. "Save us. You're our last hope."
"F***ing ridiculous." Finn pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and shoved one into the lock.
Tag: funny
I’m glad you’re gay,” she said solemnly, “because that way, if I can’t have you, no one can.”
“Um, Rocher,” I mentioned, “like, a dude could have him.”
This had never occurred to Rocher because she’d thought that Jate being gay translated as, “I love Rocher Bargemueller so much but I don’t deserve her so I’ll never have sex again.” The concept of Jate with a guy was fresh turf and Rocher regarded him with an especially deranged sparkle in her eyes.
“I could be a dude,” she said.
I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something quite different about you, from the last time we were together, what could it be….”
Was this my ultra-dose of Intoxicated taking effect?
“I know!” said the prince happily. “You’re a national disgrace!”
“And do you know what else is interesting,” I replied. “In America, Prince is a dog’s name.
Tag: funny humorous prince-gregory
Kane narrowed his eyes. ‘Where have you been all this time, Caitlin?’ She could see the suspicion in his eyes, the accusation.
‘Tied to a radiator.’
‘What is it about you that makes people want to cuff you, huh?
All I have to do is shoot! In my excitement, I throw the ball down with more force than ever, feeling bad-ass. It ricochets off the floor at an angle and slams right into my crotch.
All around me, the room goes, “Ohhhh!”
I look up. Every face is staring at me, contorted into winces. Right. Ball in crotch equals excruciating pain. I’m such an idiot! Too late, I double over in pain.
“Ouch!” I yell. I sneak a glance around. Nobody looks convinced, so I add, “My balls!
Have you ever started to wave at someone and then realized they weren’t really waving at you, so you abort and go for a head scratch instead? That’s how I felt.
Tim TharpTag: funny
Belatedly, I notice how much easier it is to walk on these sticks when you can't feel your legs. Lesson number one for hooch wear, be drunk. It might make dancing more of a challenge, but I wasn't feeling a thing and it was beautiful.
Harper SloanTruly competent Literary Detectives are as rare as truthful men, Mr. Tweed -- you can see her potential as clearly as I can. Frightened of someone stealing your thunder, perhaps?
Jasper FfordeTag: truth jealousy funny competent
We're in a psuedoscientific technobabble.
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