Jackson asked, "Where'd the water come from in your house?"

"A pipe." Then he explained to Jackson, "Water travels in pipes.

Kresley Cole

Tag: water funny jack jackson evie kresley-cole flooding matthew arcana-chronicles poison-princess



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I doubt she'll welcome you if I tell her you undressed me."

"Maybe she'll only partially welcome me."

Smart-ass.

Kresley Cole

Tag: humor funny jack evie arcana-chronicles poison-princess kresely-cole smart-ass undressed



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For the most part, each day listed a different rendition of "Justin ate well" and "Justin took a great nap". Every now and then they noted Justin doing unusual things, like biting. I was embarrassed to read "Justin is biting his friends again" or "Justin did better with biting and only bit one boy". Other than that, though, my son was a pretty happy-go-lucky kid.

Pattie Mallette

Tag: funny motherhood kids justin-bieber pattie-mallette daycare



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When I was young I found out that the big toe always ends up making a hole in a sock.
So I stopped wearing socks.

Albert Einstein

Tag: humor einstein funny socks toe



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There was an audible gasp, like everyone had been sucker-punched, and the sound reverberated through the hall like he’d just announced that not only was god dead, but he’d also been a hermaphroditic drag queen called Miss Demeanor.

Andrea Speed

Tag: funny



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Then he smiled. It was the first time I’d seen him smile, and it threw me. It was kind of…awesome.
He spoke: “I can see through your dress.”
“What?” I said automatically.
“The light coming from behind you like that. Can see right through it.” The smile widened.
“I…”
“Look, I’m not complaining. And since you haven’t moved, I’m guessing you don’t mind me looking.”
I had no idea what to do, so I stumbled further into the shed and walked to the side into the dark so I wasn’t being backlit anymore.
“And you’ve come inside, so you want to be closer to me.”
“No!” This I shouted a little too loudly. And to prove how “no” I was, I pointed the shears at him.
“You gonna cut it off?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Cut what off?” Damn it. I had to stop answering him automatically like that. Think before you speak, Riley. Think!The young man glanced down at himself, and I almost followed his look until I remembered that he was totally naked, and then I understood what he meant.God, no, I hadn’t even thought of that! Who did he think I was?Maybe the girl who shot him in the face maybe?

Adrienne Kress

Tag: funny naked riley gabe shears



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I like to skip prewriting. I love just jumping into the actual writing process. Then I revise/edit and fix what I need to. Then the following steps; proofread and publish. Of course before you just go into writing, it would be a good idea to do some charts of each chapter...what you would want each one to be about and have a character list with their personalities and how they will come into play in your book. I mean, you wouldn't just want to go all crazy and jot down all kinds of random stuff at once...trust me, you'll go crazy. With writing, you take it as it comes, go with your own flow.-Nina Jean Slack

Nina Jean Slack

Tag: books writing funny book writer author quoteable



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What is it, you ask?" Kali said, trying to cover her surprise with nonchalant words. "I haven't thought of a name yet. Got any ideas?"
"Shit," the pirate said, said of. The gag made elocution difficult.
"That wouldn't impress anyone at the patent office.

Lindsay Buroker

Tag: humor humour fantasy funny invention peacemaker steampunk lindsay-buroker



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This one's for Alaska Young!

John Green

Tag: funny alaska-young looking-for-alaska



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Oh, hey, kettle, I’m pot and wow, you’re black.” - Owen

Olivia Cunning

Tag: funny black force hilarious hilarity jacob owen funny-humor smartass shade pot book-quotes funny-quotes tags kettle kellen olivia-cunning sole-regret tie-me



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