In lieu of Tasers, you'll have to hit me. Hard as you can. Then maybe some kind of fight-or-flight response will kick in and I'll turn into a bat to get away from you."
"Fight or flight."
"Yes."
"Only half of that is flight.
Tag: humor humour funny vampires paranormal transformation supernatural
Is this your boyfriend?" the first nun asked.
Clair Olivia looked me up and down. “No. This is my gay friend who decided he was straight and single-handedly wrecked havoc at an all-boys school in Massachusetts this fall. He’s gay again and home for Christmas, so yay!
Tag: friendship funny gay lgbtq nun
It was a fabulous outfit, but it was so urban-fantasy book cover.
Chloe NeillTag: funny
The toddler started making this whine/moan noise while pawing at Tabitha. I know as a woman I'm supposed to have this innate love of babies, but the truth is, they kind of remind me of zombies. They stumble around, arms out, moaning. And if they get a hold of you, they suck the energy out of you.
Cindi MadsenTag: humor children funny zombies
Oooo...He's being a saucy motherfu*ker tonight. He does wrong and I'm the one who gets treated like the whore of Babylon. Fine, he wants a show I'll give him a damn show.
S.K. LogsdonTag: funny profanity profane-funny erotic-romance sassy-dialogue stricken-unveiled
The next thing Jordana says makes me realize that it's too late to save her. "I've noticed that when you light a match, the flame is the same shape as a falling tear." She's been sensitized, turned gooey in the middle. I saw it happening and I didn't do anything to stop it. From now on, she'll be writing diaries and sometimes including little poems and she'll buy gifts for her favourite teachers and she'll admire the scenery and she'll watch the news and she'll buy soup for homeless people and she'll never burn my leg hair again.
Joe DunthorneTag: humor love funny coming-of-age teen melancholic
And I provide much- needed eye candy.
Veronica RothTag: humor funny handsome uriah
I firmly believe that if you can't fool all of the people all of the time you should start breeding them for stupidity.” - Weisshaupt
Dave SimTag: funny comic cerebus graphic-novel comic-book dave-sim weisshaupt
I’m tired of ignorance held up as inspiration, where vicious anti-intellectualism is considered a positive trait, and where uninformed opinion is displayed as fact.
Philip PlaitTag: humor inspiration funny opinion ignorance facts intellectualism anti-intellectualism uninformed uninformed-opinion
The first sign that Karma was now in cahoots with the Devil Incarnate to ruin her existance should've been before sunrise and pre-coffee.
Kelly MoranTag: books devil funny humorous contemporary-romance karma bad-day
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