Neythen looked perplexed. 'My mum always said I'm named after a saint, not an illness.'
'Which one?'
'Well he had his head chopped off, see? And then he picked it up and carried it down the road a time. All the way back home, I think.'
'Messy,' Piers said. 'Not to mention unlikely, though one has to think of chickens and their post-mortal abilities. Did she think that you would inherit the same gift?'
Neythen blinked. 'No, my lord.'
'Perhaps she was just hopeful. It behooves mothers to look ahead to this sort of possibility, after all. I'm tempted to behead you just to see if she was right.Sometimes the most unlikely superstitions turn out to have a basis in fact.
Tag: funny hilarious making-fun-of
No," Nathan grumbled. "Like, not piss on him, just all around him." Stuart raised an eyebrow. "Nath, you need to chill. We're in a bar, a busy bar. We can't stop people talking to each other."
"I know but-"
"Look, don't worry about it," Stuart insisted. "Try not to turn into a bunny boiler just yet.
He was still thoughtful. 'Do you think any of us ever really knows anyone?'
'Philosophy, Lord Dryden? And yet it's daylight and everyone is still sober.
Tag: philosophy hilarious something-to-ponder
I don't know,' he said irritably. 'Is it meant to improve you?'
She swiveled toward him, eyes wide with shock.
'Because nothing could,' he added.
Her mouth dropped in astonishment. Blotchy scarlet rushed her complexion. One would have thought he'd shot her.
Oh dear God!
He realized belatedly how wrong it had sounded.
'No! God... that is to say.. nothing is necessary to improve you. Nothing could possibly make you better... than you already are.
Jules could have sworn there was a devilish glint in the shopkeepers eye.
'I find today I am in need of a bonnet.'
Mr. Postlethwaite was silent. And then his eyes crept toward the marquess's hairline.
'It will be a gift for a woman, Mr. Postlethwaite.'
'Of course, sir.'
The marquess wished the 'of course' sounded a bit more sincere. He'd scarcely been in the shop for more than three minutes and already his dignity was fraying.
Who’s a** is this?” Mo asked...
“Mine!” Mykel shouted.
Mo stilled and then laughed. Mykel thought about what he said and then felt his face heat up from embarrassment. “I mean yours.”
“God, I love you,” Mo said...
Tag: hilarious
I really don’t think you should put your hand inside the manticore, dear. You don’t know where it’s been. —Enid Healy
Seanan McGuireNo way, that would kill my diet for the week. I don't know how you can stand to eat so unhealthy, Quinn.
Just consider it an amuse-biatch.
Tag: hilarious french-puns sopapilla-cheesecake-bars
Mr. Babcock pats my shoulder. He smiles, and the caterpillar mustache — the envy of state troopers everywhere, I'm sure — straightens out again. I hear that on the weekends, he's a part-time security guard with mirrored sunglasses and a gun. He probably poses in front of his bathroom mirror to see how he looks saying "Freeze!
Libba BrayTag: hilarious
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Forgive me. I continue to underestimate the breadth of your ignorance.
Ransom RiggsTag: hilarious
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