I may not be perfect, but God knows I'm trying . . . and God knowing should count for something.

Karen E. Quinones Miller

Tag: inspirational-quotes humorous-quotes

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That's all you need? Easy. I love you.Okay? Want it louder?I love you. Spell it out schould I l-o-v-e y-o-u. Want it backwards You love I.

William Goldman

Tag: humorous-quotes

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I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late.

Elizabeth Jane Howard

Tag: humorous-quotes sleeping-in

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By the standards of a tourist strolling past looking for a quick lunch, the place was a dive. The sign on the window was small and easy to miss, and the antique feel of the place wasn't the prepackaged, old-shit-on-the-wall nostalgia that came with so many chain restaurants. The cafe was just old, and everything about it said old. But Jon liked it that way, if only because it kept the tourists away and spared him from hearing imported ignorance when there was plenty of local ignorance to go around.

Scott B. Pruden

Tag: humor satire science-fiction humorous-quotes southern-fiction science-fiction-comedy immaculate-deception science-fiction-thrillers

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F***ing triffids.

Scott B. Pruden

Tag: satire science-fiction southern-authors humorous-quotes immaculate-deception near-future

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The ultimate downfall of the computerized holographic receptionist was that there was no amount of flattery, flirtation or chocolate that could convince one to lie for you.

Scott B. Pruden

Tag: humor satire science-fiction humorous-quotes southern-fiction science-fiction-comedy immaculate-deception science-fiction-thrillers

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Nothing helps your partner keep his mind on Jesus more than having a sign of His love tanned on your primary erogenous zones.

Scott B. Pruden

Tag: humor satire science-fiction humorous-quotes southern-fiction science-fiction-comedy immaculate-deception science-fiction-thrillers

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Said Opie Read to E.P. Roe,
"How do you like Gaboriau?"
"I like him very much indeed!"
Said E.P. Roe to Opie Read.

Julian Street

Tag: humorous-quotes

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Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys.

George R.R. Martin

Tag: humor a-storm-of-swords humorous-quotes a-song-of-ice-and-fire tyrion-lannister jaime-lannister game-of-thrones

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Pop music is like an auditory cup of coffee. It has no nutritional value but it gets you going.

Jim Moorman

Tag: humor humorous-quotations humorous-quotes

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