A reputation for money is almost as negotiable as money itself.
John SteinbeckTag: humorous
One thing that's good about procrastination is that you always have something planned for tomorrow
G.B. SternTag: humorous
Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese.
Eoin ColferTag: inspirational humorous
Society teaches us that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. The bill of rights informs us that we have the right to keep it to ourselves.
Brian RandleasTag: humorous humorous-quotes
It's Salvation. When Jen told me I had a vision. A vision Rena. I think I saw the blessed mother smiling and she was hold ing a loofa.
[In regards to moving out of dorms and having three bathrooms between 4 roomates]
Tag: humorous
I don't need new boots I got bluchers back down home.
Eff the effing bluchers I'll buy you new adjectival effing elastic sided boots.
The streak of bleach in my hair is as obvious as ever. Am I really going out in public like this? I push my hair backward and forward a few times - but I can't hide it. Maybe I could walk along with my hand carelessly positioned at my head, as if I'm thinking hard. I attempt a few casual, pensive poses in the mirror.
"Is your head all right?"
I swivel round in shock to see Nathaniel at the open door, wearing a plaid shirt and jeans.
"Er...fine," I say, my hand still glued to my head. "I was just..."
Oh, there's no point. I bring my hand down from my hair and Nathaniel regards the streak for a moment.
"It looks nice," he says. "Like a badger."
"A badger?" I say, affronted. "I don't look like a badger."
"Badgers are beautiful creatures," says Nathaniel with a shrug. "I'd rather look like a badger than a stoat.
Tag: humorous
Certainly no one has ever died of an unrequited passion—it's usually the ones that are requited that get people in trouble.
Mercedes LackeyTag: relationships unrequited-love humorous
Could it be? Samantha Kingston? Home? On a Friday?”
I roll my eyes. “I don’t know. Did you do a lot of acid in the sixties? Could be a flashback.”
“I was two years old in 1960. I came too late for the party.” He leans down and pecks me on the head. I pull away out of habit. “And I’m not even going to ask how you know about acid flashbacks.”
“What’s an acid flashback?” Izzy crows.
“Nothing,” my dad and I say at the same time, and he smiles at me.
Tag: humorous parents-and-children acid
We were encouraged to propose safetyprevention suggestions, and write them all down— locking doors, walking or exercising with a friend, wearing shoes that don’t hinder running. Erin’s suggestion of “Avoid assholes” was popular.
Tammara WebberTag: humorous self-defense girl-power girl-humor
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