Nature" doesn't really have intentions, per se. Nature is a drunk waking up from a weekend bender, ambling through a messy kitchen in a pair of mismatched slippers, seeing its car in the neighbor's pool and saying, "Ah good. It was dirty. Just the thing.

Dick Wybrow

Tag: humor nature humour humorous chaos



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There lived a redheaded man who had no eyes or ears. He didn’t have hair either, so he was called a redhead arbitrarily. He couldn’t talk because he had no mouth. He had no nose either. He didn’t even have arms or legs. He had no stomach, he had no back, he had no spine, and he had no innards at all. He didn’t have anything. So we don’t even know who we’re talking about. It’s better that we don’t talk about him any more.

Daniil Kharms

Tag: humorous



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Tag: marriage humorous



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That's how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they're looking' to find poloponies.

Janet Evanovich

Tag: humor humorous



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I'm used to desperate, buddy. Desperate's my factory default. But thanks anyway.

Carolyn Crane

Tag: humorous



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If the mattress stains were anything to go by, a previous user had not so much suffered from incontinence as rejoiced in it.

Bill Bryson

Tag: humorous



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His attention caught, her companion raised his eyes from the book which lay open beside him on the table and directed them upon her in a look of aloof enquiry. 'What's that? Did you say something to me, Venetia?'
'Yes, love,' responded his sister cheerfully, 'but it wasn't of the least consequence, and in any event I answered for you. You would be astonished, I daresay, if you knew what interesting conversations I enjoy with myself.

Georgette Heyer

Tag: humorous intelligent-conversation



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You stick a bunch of drunken murderers together, ain't long before some turn to thieving, then to lying, then to bad language, and pretty soon to sobriety, raising families and making an honest living.

Joe Abercrombie

Tag: satire humorous slippery-slope



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you don't know until you know!

Ruth Lizana-Jackson

Tag: inspirational humorous thought-invoking



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what you know
and don’t deny that
you don’t know
and knowing this
you know
what and why
you don’t know.
Right?

Jennifer Hillman

Tag: wisdom reality denial humorous knowing presence humorous-inspirational



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