One of the police found a garden chair that I could stand on and they eyed me suspiciously as I tried to slide through the window.

The fleece that I was wearing was padding me out too much so I took it off.

I tried again, and this time it was my pen, pen-torch and scissors in my shirt pocket that got in the way. I moved them into my trouser pocket.

One of the police asked if it would help if I was buttered up.

I pretended not to listen to him.

Or the giggles of my crewmate.


Tom Reynolds

Tag: humour



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There's a time and place for everything, and I believe it’s called 'fan fiction'.

Joss Whedon

Tag: humour fantasy fandom fanfiction



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One of the disadvantages of almost universal education was the fact that all kinds of persons acquired a familiarity with one's favorite writers. It gave one a curious feeling; it was like seeing a drunken stranger wrapped in one's dressing gown.

Stella Gibbons

Tag: books humour



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A man when he is making up to anybody can be cordial and gallant and full of little attentions and altogether charming. But when a man is really in love he can't help looking like a sheep.

Agatha Christie

Tag: love deception humour lovers sheep



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My poetic aspiration
Is to become,
A Jack of all styles
And a master of pun.

Clive Blake

Tag: humour



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I have written it before and am not ashamed to write it again. Without Wodehouse I am not sure that I would be a tenth of what I am today -- whatever that may be. In my teenage years, his writings awoke me to the possibilities of language. His rhythms, tropes, tricks and mannerisms are deep within me.
But more than that, he taught me something about good nature. It is enough to be benign, to be gentle, to be funny, to be kind.

Stephen Fry

Tag: life writing humour goodness language wodehouse



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Can't you see that I'm only advising you to beg yourself not to be so dumb?

Petronius

Tag: stupidity humour latin irony ancient nonsense text satyre the-satyricon trimalchio



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Kaede: I know this, ungrateful dog. In order to find the sacred jewel shards, Kagome's spirtual power is essential. Yet ye made her upset with your words an sent her running home

InuYasha: That was her idea! she chose to go home! She said: "I'm going home! You jerk!"

Kaede: InuYasha, that imitation was pathetic.

InuYasha: I'm a demon, not a comedian!

Rumiko Takahashi

Tag: humour manga inuyasha kaede kagome



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It's only human nature for dogs to chase motrobikes

Peter Tinniswood

Tag: humour



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If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Tag: humour funny cynical beatnik



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