A guy walks into a psychologist's convention with a banana in his pocket.When asked about the significance of this he says;well,they were all out of grapes.
Bob NewhartTag: humour
Indifference is the revenge the world takes on mediocrities.
Oscar WildeTag: revenge humour mediocrities
They say life is full of shit, well hell, so am I, so bring it on
J.W. MurisonTag: humour
Well, that explains why we jumped into bed with each other so quickly. We were both hornier than a bucket of desert toads.
Olivia CunningIt was all I could do to stop my cunt from coming round to see you without me.'
'Who's Mike Hunt?
It’s a popular fact that 90 percent of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. . . . It is used. One of its functions is to make the miraculous seem ordinary, to turn the unusual into the usual. Otherwise, human beings, faced with the daily wondrousness of everything, would go around wearing a stupid grin, saying “Wow,” a lot. Part of the brain exists to stop this from happening.
Terry PratchettTag: perception humour brain
Hey, now , enough of that.” Wyeth shook her again, gentler this time, then ducked his head and peered under the curtain of hair she was hiding behind. “Have faith in yourself, Saige. You can live your own life.”
“But what if I make a right fine royal mess of it?”
Wyeth chuckled . “That’s the beauty of it – you never know where your decisions are going to take you, but that’s the adventure of life.
Tag: humour
You think I can't get it up anymore, maybe? Lemme tell you, you eat enough garlic and it stands up every time.
Alberto VitaleTag: sex humour erectile-dysfunction erections garlic
Go! Go! Go! Go!' said that officer, with an expression as though he considered our Cap an individual of the animal kingdom whom neither Buffon nor any other natural philosopher had ever classified, and who, as a creature of unknown habits, might sometimes be dangerous.
E.D.E.N. SouthworthThe boy knew that escaping school was the surest sign of his election.
Flannery O'ConnorTag: education school humour election
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