The executioner's argument was that you couldn't cut of something's head unless there was a trunk to sever it from. He'd never done anything like that in his time of life, and wasn't going to start now.

The King's argument was that anything that had a head, could be beheaded, and you weren't to talk nonsense.

The Queen's argument was that if something wasn't done about it in less than no time, she'd have everyone beheaded all round.

It was this last argument that had everyone looking so nervous and uncomfortable.

Lewis Carroll

Tag: inspirational humour absurdity



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Women are like bars of soap. After a while they lose their freshness, become worn and a bit hairy.

Robert Black

Tag: women humour the-control-sickness



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Professor Milligan will now play his tree! The composition is in A Minor, the tree is in A garden.

Spike Milligan

Tag: humor random humour funny



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What was it like, being married to six actresses?"

"Like being married to one of them. They're all pretty much alike."

"Why'd you keep doing it, then?"

"Hope is the thing with feathers," Trent said, "that tickles your scrotum at the moments when you most need a clear head.

Timothy Hallinan

Tag: humour



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Kapag si Aga Muhlach ang nanligaw, ready o hindi ready, Re-ready yan kasi gusto siya eh.

Ramon Bautista

Tag: humour



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I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

Tim Vine

Tag: humour



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The way I see it: Why get out of bed when you can read about people who got out of bed?

-Eric Foreman That 70's Show

Tag: humor reading humour laziness



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Will laughed. 'I now know why fate linked you with Xav. You are going to tease each other unmercifully.'
Victorthrew down a card. 'Might make the world a little safer for the rest of us then.'
'Unless they turn their powers jointly on us,' suggested Sky, her old sparkle back in her eyes.
The Benedict brothers groaned in unison.

Joss Stirling

Tag: family humour seeking-crystal



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...time to tell the prince he rescued the wrong girl.

Katie McGarry

Tag: humour



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Somehow I'd still managed to go all retarded at the sight of some handsome asshole with a nice smile.

C.J. Roberts

Tag: humor love humour darkness lust



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