Must be frustrating being a scientist. There you are, incrementally discovering how the universe works via a series of complex tests and experiments, for the benefit of all mankind - and what thanks do you get? People call you "egghead" or "boffin" or "heretic", and they cave your face in with a rock and bury you out in the wilderness.
Not literally - not in this day and age - but you get the idea. Scientists are mistrusted by huge swathes of the general public, who see them as emotionless lab-coated meddlers-with-nature rather than, say, fellow human beings who've actually bothered getting off their arses to work this shit out.
There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.
Quentin CrispAnd all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before--and thus was the Empire forged.
Douglas AdamsTag: humor adventure humour science-fiction space-travel grammar-humor grammar star-trek-references
Sadly, I hate foreigners. And Americans. And animals. And flora, and some fauna. Also the magma that is the very core of this our mother earth. I'm full o' hate!
Joss WhedonTag: humour
You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?
Terry PratchettTag: humour consumerism humans
Look at all the things that can go wrong for men. There’s the nothing-happening-at-all problem, the too-much-happening-too-soon problem, the dismal-droop-after-a-promising-beginning problem; there’s the size-doesn’t-matter-except-in-my-case problem, the failing-to-deliver-the-goods problem…and what do women have to worry about? A handful of cellulite? Join the club. A spot of I-wonder-how-I-rank? Ditto.
Nick HornbyTag: humor man men sex humour high-fidelity nick-hornby nick hornby manliness manly
I was so attracted to him I could have peed myself right there on the spot, but I hadn't done anything like that in a while. I was older now, and harnessed my feelings in moments like these by opening and closing my fists very rapidly.
The Harvard LampoonTag: humour
As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.
Joan Dye GussowTag: humour
Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?"
"Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir.
Tag: humour fantasy trolls siege-engines
Don't Stop Believing
JourneyTag: inspirational humour
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