When you get beef from the butcher, you don’t feel bad for the cow that has been killed. But if someone asked you to wield a knife and kill the cow yourself, you wouldn’t be able to do it.”
“Are you saying that you are a cow?”
“Exactly.”
“What?”
“You found me alive and couldn’t bring yourself to kill me. It would have been alright if the storm had finished me off. I am like that cow and the storm is the butcher. Do you see now?”
“Yes, I see. You absolutely insist that you are a cow. I am not arguing.
Tag: humourous
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny YoungmanTag: humourous
I'm sorry, honey. I'm sure if you were a terrorist, you'd make a wonderful one
Madeleine GeorgeTag: humourous
The festivities were broken up by Pandora, who lobbed a scoop of ice cream at Lex that landed on the table with a sticky sploosh.
“Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!” she screeched, jigging back into the kitchen.
Tag: humourous
Honestly I don't know why i have these parties"
"Because of your cat"
"That's true. Chairman Meow deserves my every effort
Tag: cats city-of-bones humourous magnus-bane
Murphy caught that arm and continued the motion, using her own body as a fulcrum in a classic hip throw - except that Binder was facing in the opposite direction than usual for that technique.
You could hear his arm come out of its socket fifty feet away.
And then he hit the gravel face-first.
Binder got extra points for brains in my book, after that: he lay still and didn't put up a struggle as Murphy dragged his wrists behind his back and cuffed him.
I traded a glance with Mouse and said, wisely, 'Hard-core.
Tag: humourous dresden-files
Sir," said the guard from behind me. "I'd appreciate it if you left your club here."
I paused and looked over my shoulder, He had a gun. His hand wasn't exactly resting on it, but he'd tucked his thumb into his belt about half an inch away.
"It isn't a club," I said calmly. "It's a walking stick."
"Six feet long."
"It's traditional Ozark folk art."
"With dents and nicks all over it."
I thought about it for a second. "I'm insecure?"
"Get a blanket.
Tag: humourous dresden-files
After a few minutes, Molly came partway up the short ladder to the bridge and stopped. "Do I need to ask permission to come up there or something?"
"Why would you?" I asked.
She considered. "It's what they do on Star Trek?
Tag: humourous dresden-files
There ain't enough happens in soccer. It's like watching twenty-two hair models kick a ball around for what seems like six months and then one of them falls over and the ball goes in the goal.
Warren EllisTag: humourous
The two guys who ran the place, always in Williamsburg hipster uniforms of short-sleeved shirts and neatly trimmed beards that looked stuck on with spirit gum, paid, as ever, no attention to anything but the food and the money. Tallow imagined that every night they counted their money and prided themselves on having not made eye contact with anything human.
Warren EllisTag: humourous
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