Era ella quien se abría como una sandía madura, roja, jugosa, tibia, ella quien sudaba esa fragancia penetrante de mariscos, ella quien lo mordía, lo arañaba, lo chupaba, gemía, agonizaba de sofoco y de placer. Era en su carne compasiva donde se sumergía hasta perder el aliento y volverse esponja, medusa, estrella de altamar.
Isabel AllendeChildren who are victimized through sexual abuse often begin to develop deeply held tenets that shape their sense of self: 'My worth is my sexuality. I'm dirty and shameful. I have no right to my own physical boundaries.' That shapes their ideas about the world around them: 'No one will believe me. Telling the truth results in bad consequences. People can't be trusted.' It doesn't take long for children to being to act in accordance with these belief systems.
For girls who have experienced incest, sexual abuse, or rape, the boundaries between love, sex, and pain become blurred. Secrets are normal, and shame is a constant.
Tag: sexuality pain love children sex shame secrets rape beliefs victims sexual-abuse incest
Become your own soulmate. Then you'll always have someone watching your back, and you'll always have someone who loves you.
Rebecca O'DonnellTag: hope memoir insecurity abuse incest
I used to teach at an abused children's home. I told the kids, "You all have a manure pile of memories. Nothing you can do about that. Now you can drown in the stink or turn it into compost and grow a garden. I wouldn't't be as good a teacher to you if I didn't know what you're going through. That way, I make my memories do good instead of letting them eat me. I'm like Herbie from Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. I pulled my Bumble's teeth. He's still big and scary but he can't bite me anymore.
Rebecca O'DonnellTag: hope memoir child-abuse incest
Coming to terms with incest is not easy. Learning to be a survivor, not a victim, gives new meaning to life
Lynette GouldTag: guilt rape memories healing survivors trauma sexual-abuse survivor incest traumatic-experiences childhood-abuse
Just as verbally and physically abused children internalize blame, so do incest victims. However, in incest, the blame is compounded by the shame. The belief that ‘it’s all my fault’ is never more intense than with the incest victim. This belief fosters strong feelings of self-loathing and shame. In addition to having somehow to cope with the actual incest, the victim must now guard against being caught and exposed as a ‘dirty, disgusting’ person
Susan ForwardTag: family parents belief children shame feelings depression healing victim mental-health incest toxic anxious fearful toxic-parents
Ninety-six per cent of juvenile prostitutes are fugitives from abusive domestic situations; 66 per cent began working before they turned 16. (Prostitution is their only perceived means of survival.) Millions of children work as prostitutes around the world. A third are male. One study revealed that over 50 per cent of prostitutes are the children of alcoholics or substance abusers, and 90 per cent are deflowered through incest or rape. Ninety-one per cent of prostitutes do not speak of the abuse. (The truth of life is told through the language of behavior.) Abused children suffer Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, guilt, self-destructive impulses, suspicion, fear. Seventy-five per cent of prostitutes attempt suicide. (Imagine their scrapbook of memories.)
Antonella Gambotto-BurkeTag: fear prostitution guilt rape slavery suspicion incest prostitutes children-of-alcoholics post-traumatic-stress-disorder abused-children juvenile-prostitutes parasuicide self-destructive-impulses substance-abusers suicide-attempts
He says, "I would walk around the township and I could point them out, which girls had been abused. You could see it in them. There's a luminosity to incest. The taboo is so strong and the damage so great. Luminosity--do you understand? It travels across oceans and down generations. They shine with it.
Emma BrockesTag: sexual-abuse abuse incest taboo shining luminocity
Gay men! And it's incest! With the same face!
Bisco HatoriThe survivor movements were also challenging the notion of a dysfunctional family as the cause and culture of abuse, rather than being one of the many places where abuse nested. This notion, which in the 1990s and early 1980s was the dominant understanding of professionals characterised the sex abuser as a pathetic person who had been denied sex and warmth by his wife, who in turn denied warmth to her daughters. Out of this dysfunctional triad grew the far-too-cosy incest dyad. Simply diagnosed, relying on the signs: alcoholic father, cold distant mother, provocative daughter. Simply resolved, because everyone would want to stop, to return to the functioning family where mum and dad had sex and daughter concentrated on her exams. Professionals really believed for a while that sex offenders would want to stop what they were doing. They thought if abuse were decriminalised, abusers would seek help. The survivors knew different. P5
Beatrix CampbellTag: society-denial rape crime victim criminal child-abuse abusers sexual-abuse survivor abuse incest pedophile dysfunctional-family emotional-neglect sex-offenders
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