I'm not scared of death, I just don't want to seek it out.

Thomas James Higgins

Tag: humor death satire irony



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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Fran Lebowitz

Tag: food diet irony omnivore



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Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.

René Descartes

Tag: humor common-sense irony



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It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.

Voltaire

Tag: humor morality ethics murder nationalism war mankind law killing irony double-standards nations governments



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Don’t underestimate the value of irony—it is extremely valuable.

Henry James

Tag: irony



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Nobody can tell what I suffer! But it is always so. Those who do not complain are never pitied.

Jane Austen

Tag: suffering irony histrionics complaints hysterics mrs-bennett



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I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Tag: hell individualism selfishness tea irony



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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor irony nobel-peace-prize



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So, like I said, these are a bunch of really sweet guys, but you wouldn't want to share a Galaxy with them, not if they're just gonna keep at it, not if they're not gonna learn to relax a little. I mean it's just gonna be continual nervous time, isn't it, right? Pow, pow, pow, when are they next coming at us? Peaceful coexistence is just right out, right? Get me some water somebody, thank you."

He sat back and sipped reflectively.

OK," he said, "hear me, hear me. It's, like, these guys, you know, are entitled to their own view of the Universe. And according to their view, which the Universe forced on them, right, they did right. Sounds crazy, but I think you'll agree. They believe in ..."

He consulted a piece of paper which he found in the back pocket of his Judicial jeans.

They believe in `peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of all other life forms'.

Douglas Adams

Tag: sci-fi irony douglas-adams



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We're not obsessed by anything, you see," insisted Ford.

"..."

"And that's the deciding factor. We can't win against obsession. They care, we don't. They win."

"I care about lots of things," said Slartibartfast, his voice trembling partly with annoyance, but partly also with uncertainty.

"Such as?"

"Well," said the old man, "life, the Universe. Everything, really. Fjords."

"Would you die for them?"

"Fjords?" blinked Slartibartfast in surprise. "No."

"Well then."

"Wouldn't see the point, to be honest.

Douglas Adams

Tag: sci-fi irony douglas-adams



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