Then the high king carefully turned the golden screw. Once: Nothing. Twice: Nothing. Then he turned it the third time, and the boy’s ass fell off.
Patrick RothfussWhen in doubt, poke the beehive with a stick to see if anything interesting flies out.
I clapped my hands. 'I had no idea Pit teams had such pretty cheerleaders. Can you do it again, but with more spirit this time?
Tag: funny joke kate cheerleading
What was that?” I croaked.
Akhol sidestepped into my view and towered over us. “It was a Demon.”
“But you said—”
“I know what I said,” Akhol cut in sharply, rubbing his eyes. “There was something wrong with it. Like the Demon
had adapted to the darkness and water.”
I shivered. “Did he have a ring that he called ‘my precious’?” I joked to try and lighten the mood. I didn’t get a good
look at the Demon, but my mind had no problems picturing Gollum.
They stared at me blankly.
Tag: joke funny-humor timeless-series
I wish the Fallen would just come to us for a change.”
Ironically, Fallen Angels dropped from the sky and surrounded us.
“I wish I had a chocolate cake!” I exclaimed, staring up.
No cake appeared, though I did get a few wry glances. Andrew’s body shook with silent laughter while Lucia gave
me raised eyebrows.
“What? It worked for the Fallen Angels.
Tag: funny joke timeless-series
Asia is an entertainment, Europe is a dream, America is an imprisonment and Rest is a nightmare.
Santosh KalwarTag: america funny joke europe countries asia poetry-quotes
I never stopped joking around long enough to realize you weren't laughing anymore.
Alexandra PotterThe joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.
G.K. ChestertonBut—let me tell you my cat joke. It's very short and simple. A hostess is giving a dinner party and she's got a lovely five-pound T-bone steak sitting on the sideboard in the kitchen waiting to be cooked while she chats with the guests in the living room—has a few drinks and whatnot. But then she excuses herself to go into the kitchen to cook the steak—and it's gone. And there's the family cat, in the corner, sedately washing it's face."
"The cat got the steak," Barney said.
"Did it? The guests are called in; they argue about it. The steak is gone, all five pounds of it; there sits the cat, looking well-fed and cheerful. "Weigh the cat," someone says. They've had a few drinks; it looks like a good idea. So they go into the bathroom and weigh the cat on the scales. It reads exactly five pounds. They all perceive this reading and a guest says, "okay, that's it. There's the steak." They're satisfied that they know what happened, now; they've got empirical proof. Then a qualm comes to one of them and he says, puzzled, "But where's the cat?
If life a joke then I’m waiting for the punch. You all about the beef but me, I’m bout the bun.
Mac MillerJack didn’t fully get Jesus. Audrey tried to explain it, and he could repeat it back to her, word for word, but he still didn’t comprehend most of it. The best he could gather was that Jesus lived long ago, told people to be nice, and they killed him for it. At the end, he asked who was Jesus’ necromancer and if he was in the Bible, then Kaldar couldn’t stop laughing and had to sit down.
Ilona AndrewsTag: humor religion jesus joke necromancer children-s-pov
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