Second star to the right-"
"-and straight on till morning? Yeah, I've heard that one before. Lit of the Ancient Homeworlds 101....
Tag: jokes world-building
The day I understand what's going on in her psychotic little brain they'll have to lock me in a psych ward.
J. Gabriel GatesTag: jokes
what came first the chicken or the egg?
The chicken. That is how it got knocked up in the first place.
Tag: jokes
teenagers are never joking. when seeking to prove a point, principals and teachers should remember that teenagers are never, ever sarcasic or ironic. if they say "I wish someone would drop a bomb on this school right now," that means they have arranged for a nuclear arsenal to be emptied onto the school and should be immediately suspended and ridiculed. if they say they were merely coming up with a joking excuse to postpone a bio test, reply that all jokes are funny, and that since dropping a bomb on a school is not funny, it is therefore
not
a
joke.
Tag: funny sarcasm irony teenagers teens jokes
Where do you come up with these zingers, Clint? Do you own some kind of joke factory in Indonesia where you've got eight-year-olds working ninety hours a week to deliver you that kind of top-quality witticism? There are boy bands with more original material.
John GreenA traveling salesman was driving in the country when his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay overnight. "Sure," said the farmer, "My wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are twenty-one and twenty-three, but they're off to college, and I'm all by myself, so I have lots of room to put you up."
Hearing this, the salesman turned around and started walking back toward the highway.
The farmer called after him, "Didn't you hear what I said? I have lots of room."
"I heard you," said the salesman, "but I think I'm in the wrong joke.
Tag: humor funny jokes metaphilosophy
I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks!”
-Totie Fields-
And so the twins had remained virgins. Julia and Valentina watched all of their high school and college friends disappear one by one into the adult world of sex, until they were the only people they knew who lingered in the world of the uninitiated. "What was it like?" they asked each friend. The answers were vague. Sex was a private joke: you had to be there.
Audrey NiffeneggerTag: virginity sex jokes twins private-jokes
I wrote. I wrote all the things I couldn’t say to him. I wrote about how much I believed in us. I wrote about how much I trusted God. I wrote that I was praying for him. I wrote down all the jokes I could remember, which weren’t many.
Kimberly NovoselTag: writing god writer journal jokes journaling heartbroken
If they were the jokes, I was the punch line.
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