Jane Jameson."
He grinned. "Like the porn star."
I gaped at him. "What? No, Jane Jameson."
"Oh, not as fun," he said, making disappointed clucking noises.
Tag: funny dick jane-jameson molly-harper richard nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs porn-star
What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple.
Molly HarperTag: funny dick jane-jameson molly-harper richard nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs purple-nurple
I was just turned last week. I'm a librarian."
He stilled, as if I'd just told him I was the inventor of the tube top. "I watched a movie about a librarian once. Well, she was a librarian by day, a call girl by--"
I stopped him with a quick lift of an eyebrow. "If you finish that sentence, we cannot be friends.
Tag: funny librarians dick jane-jameson molly-harper richard nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil and marabou feathers, I'm covered.
Molly HarperTag: funny dirty dick jane-jameson molly-harper richard nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out?
Molly HarperTag: questions surprises funny jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb pinata
We finally settled on Francis Ford Coppola's version of Dracula, which, unfortunately, Gabriel seemed to think was a comedy. I think it was the combination of Keanu Reeves's British accent and Gary Oldman's elderly Count Dracula hairstyle. They're just misleading.
Molly HarperTag: funny comedy dracula movie gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?"
"Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless.
Tag: funny sarcasm internet jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
You want to stab me again, don't you?"
He didn't look at all ashamed. "Think of it as testing the limits of your new abilities."
I groaned. "I've created a monster."
"I don't think someone who recently crawled from the grave should be throwing around labels like 'monster,'" he said, making sarcastic little air-quotes fingers.
"It wasn't a grave," I sniffed. "It was a comfy four-poster.
Tag: funny monster jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb four-poster
Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students.
Molly HarperTag: funny maturity kindergarten jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs zeb
Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone."
"If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks.
Tag: funny andrea jane-jameson molly-harper erectile-dysfunction nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
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