i heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

Bill Hirst

Tag: shakespeare monkeys francis-bacon typewriters



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I’d been traveling in Asia long enough to know that monkeys there are nothing like their trombone-playing, tambourine-banging cousins I’d seen on TV as a kid.

Free-living Asian primates possess a characteristic I found shocking and confusing the first time I saw it: self-respect. If you make the mistake of holding the gaze of a street monkey in India, Nepal, or Malaysia, you’ll find you’re facing a belligerently intelligent creature whose expression says, with a Robert DeNiro–like scowl, “What the hell are you looking at? You wanna piece of me?”

Forget about putting one of these guys in a little red vest.

Christopher Ryan

Tag: intelligence monkeys primates



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Cats and monkeys - monkeys and cats - all human life is there!

Henry James

Tag: life cats human monkeys



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So once the zookeeper realized it was the monkeys who stole the bananas, he knew there was only one way he'd be able to get them back."
"How?" I whispered. My throat was so sore.
"Don't talk. He had to beat them in shuffleboard, of course."
"What?"
"I said don't talk. Monkeys love shuffleboard."
He used a page from a homework assignment he'd failed and a stack of quarters to make a shuffleboard court. I watched the monkeys and the zookeepers have their showdown while I sipped the last of my applejuice.
"Need more?" Graham asked me without looking up, when my straw skidded against the dry bottom of the box.
"Uh uh."
"You're supposed to drink juice."
"I just drank some."
"More, though."
I shook my head.
"Drink more juice or the monkeys are going to kill you. The only thing they love more than shuffleboard is beating up dehydrated sick boys.

Hannah Moskowitz

Tag: monkeys brothers sickness shuffleboard



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I’d much rather a monkey throws a blanket instead of a brick.

Nicole Riekhof

Tag: humor random funny monkeys brick-and-blanket-iq-test brick-and-blanket-responses brick-and-blanket-test brick-and-blanket-uses



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Even monkeys fall from trees.

Chris Bradford

Tag: mistakes monkeys failure



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Do you like flora and fauna? How about plants and animals? Because we have more of that beautiful crap than we know what to do with. Charmingly domesticated troops of monkeys swing freely throughout our orchid-laden property. You’re probably thinking that a lot of all-inclusive resorts have monkeys. True, but only one resort packs a monkey for each of their guests to take home. You’ll be showing off more than a tan to your friends, you’ll be showing off a gibbon.

Colin Nissan

Tag: humor absurd funny monkeys resorts



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she has big ears like a monkey , she can probably hear really good!

Charise Mericle Harper

Tag: monkeys ears and-ms-lois



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It’s strange how what drives us may abandon us midstream, how what tickles our ears with lies one moment may tell us truths that knock us on our emotional ass the next.
After all, it is an unbelievably real world, with Darwin scribbling his thoughts into books and telling us what monkeys we are. Each of us explores possibility, hungry for sustaining adoration, yet we know enough to render ourselves helpless.
We strive and strain, bellow and believe, we learn, and everything we learn tells us the same thing: life is one great meaningful experience in a meaningless world. Brilliance has many parts, yet each part is incomplete.
We live, heal and attempt to piece together a picture worth the price of our very lives.
The picture I saw presented demonic executioners, who crippled those daring to look and consumed souls without defense. They’re everywhere. Some are people we know. Others are the great fears and addictions of our lives.

Christopher Hawke

Tag: truth lies addiction possibility monkeys abandonment darwin addictions fears abandon abandoned



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If you look at the monkeys, you can learn many things about the men; if you look at the men, you can learn many things about the madness!

Mehmet Murat ildan

Tag: monkeys



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