Great idea," I said. "Call the police. Call the fucking police.

Ava Gardner

Tag: humor fighting frank-sinatra police ava-gardner



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On the second to last day, Lt. Russo, who ran the program, announced, "Unless you were at dinner last night and had the opportunity to say 'Howard, pass the salt,' you are going to Brooklyn North and Manhattan North. That's where they need people, and that's where you're going." "Howard" referred to to the Commissioner Safir, and when they read the list of assignments the next afternoon--
"Alvarez... Brooklyn North..."
"Baker... Brooklyn North..."
"Buono... Manhattan North..."
"Calderon... Brooklyn North..."
"Conlon... South Bronx Initiative..."
--more than a few people turned around to look. Howard, pass the salt. I was a little surprised myself.

Edward Conlon

Tag: police connections i-know-people pass-the-salt



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Before man can explore outer space he should first learn to explore the Inner Space of his mind.

Merlin Fraser

Tag: police crime-fiction murder-mystery



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Frosting was his favorite. He liked to eat doughnuts at every meal. Because it was healthier to eat six small meals a day than three large ones, he restricted himself: jellied for breakfast, glazed for brunch, cream-filled for lunch, frosting for linner, chocolate for dinner, and powdered sugar for 2 a.m. supermarket stakeout. Because linner coincided with the daily crime peak, he always ate his favorite variety to ease him. Frosting was his only choice now, and upsetting his routine was a quiet thrill.

Benson Bruno

Tag: funny police doughnuts pastries



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During voir dire, the interviews for jury selection, each person is asked under oath about their experience with the criminal justice system, as defendant or victim, but usually not even the most elementary effort is made to corroborate those claims. One ADA [Associate District Attorney] told me about inheriting a murder case, after the first jury deadlocked. He checked the raps for the jurors and found that four had criminal records. None of those jurors were prosecuted. Nor was it policy to prosecute defense witnesses who were demonstrably lying--by providing false alibis, for example--because, as another ADA told me, if they win the case, they don't bother, and if they lose, "it looks like sour grapes." A cop told me about a brawl at court one day, when he saw court officers tackle a man who tried to escape from the Grand Jury. An undercover was testifying about a buy when the juror recognized him as someone he had sold to. Another cop told me about locking up a woman for buying crack, who begged for a Desk Appearance Ticket, because she had to get back to court, for jury duty--she was the forewoman on a Narcotics case, of course. The worst part about these stories is that when I told them to various ADAs, none were at all surprised; most of those I'd worked with I respected, but the institutionalized expectations were abysmal. They were too used to losing and it showed in how they played the game.

Edward Conlon

Tag: cops irony police pathetic the-system district-attorney jurors jury-duty voir-dire



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Later that day when I passed the Admin lieutenant and the Sargeant standing by the Desk, I said casually, "I'm leaving too, Sarge."
"Okay," he said, and I kept on walking.

Edward Conlon

Tag: cops police leaving quit the-job



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Do you like being a cop?"
"I love it, when it doesn't suck, sir.

Edward Conlon

Tag: cops police the-job



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I was constantly amazed by how many people talked me into arresting them.

Edward Conlon

Tag: cops police arrest



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It wasn't as if crack was getting great press in the South Bronx in 1999, but it took a particular kind of idiot to wake up one day and say, 'Angel dust is a product I've heard nothing but good about, and it's about time I was involved.

Edward Conlon

Tag: police junkie crack idiot druggie 1999 addict angel-dust informant south-bronx



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There were a lot of things he could say. "Son of a bitch!" would have been a good one. Or he could say, "Welcome to civilization!" He could have said, "Laugh this one off!" He might have said, "Fetch!" But he didn’t, because if he had said any of those things then he’d have known that what he had just done was murder.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: morality murder police



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