Hitch: making rules about drinking can be the sign of an alcoholic,' as Martin Amis once teasingly said to me. (Adorno would have savored that, as well.) Of course, watching the clock for the start-time is probably a bad sign, but here are some simple pieces of advice for the young. Don't drink on an empty stomach: the main point of the refreshment is the enhancement of food. Don't drink if you have the blues: it's a junk cure. Drink when you are in a good mood. Cheap booze is a false economy. It's not true that you shouldn't drink alone: these can be the happiest glasses you ever drain. Hangovers are another bad sign, and you should not expect to be believed if you take refuge in saying you can't properly remember last night. (If you really don't remember, that's an even worse sign.) Avoid all narcotics: these make you more boring rather than less and are not designed—as are the grape and the grain—to enliven company. Be careful about up-grading too far to single malt Scotch: when you are voyaging in rough countries it won't be easily available. Never even think about driving a car if you have taken a drop. It's much worse to see a woman drunk than a man: I don't know quite why this is true but it just is. Don't ever be responsible for it.

Christopher Hitchens

Tag: advice men women food drugs drinking responsibility eating rules whiskey alcoholism drunk-driving martin-amis adorno alochol drowning-one-s-sorrows hangovers scotch single-malt



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This is one rule about mixing boys and girls: that a date always comes first.

Elizabeth Berg

Tag: boys girls dating rules teens couples teen elizabeth-berg joy-school date datenight



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I used to think that when I grew up there wouldn't be so many rules. Back in elementary school there were rules about what entrance you used in the morning, what door you used going home, when you could talk in the library, how many paper towels you could use in the rest room, and how many drinks of water you could get during recess. And there was always somebody watching to make sure.

What I'm finding out about growing older is that there are just as many rules about lots of things, but there's nobody watching.

Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Tag: growing-up rules children-s-books



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Now I wish she'd never broken any of her rules. I understood why she held to them so hard. Once you broke the first one, they all broke, one by one, like firecrackers exploding in your face in a parking lot on the Fourth of July.

Janet Fitch

Tag: rules



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Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: rules rulebreaking



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Never argue with a mother who's scolding her child.

Toba Beta

Tag: rules mother



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I'm the first to admit that I don't write right. Now, relax and enjoy the show! The sideshow, that is.

Lori R. Lopez

Tag: humor style books writing rules unusual author unconventional eccentric quirky offbeat



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Error of omission begets new rules.

Toba Beta

Tag: rules laws regulation error-of-omission



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The rules of capitalization are so unfair to words in the middle of a sentence.

John Green

Tag: rules capitalization



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There aren't any rules to running away from your problems. No checklist of things to cross off. No instructions. Eeny, meeny, pick a path and go. That's how my dad does it anyway because apparently there's no age limit to running away, either. He wakes up one day, packs the car with everything we own, and we hit the road. Watch all the pretty colors go by until he finds a town harmless enough to hide in. But his problems always find us. Sometimes quicker than others. Sometimes one month and sometimes six. There's no rule when it comes to that, either. Not about how long it takes for the problems to catch up with us. Just that they will—that much is a given. And then it's time to run again to a new town, a new home, and a new school for me.

But if there aren't any rules, I wonder why it feels the same every time. Feels like I leave behind a little bit of who I was in each house we've left empty. Scattering pieces of me in towns all over the place. A trail of crumbs dotting the map from everywhere we've left to everywhere we go. And they don't make any pictures when I connect dots. They are random like the stars littering the sky at night.

Brian James

Tag: rules problems moving running-away



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