So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident.
Lish McBrideTag: humor zombie necromancer sarcastic panda
Carpe Diem, just remember that we're partying on the Titanic.
Will McIntoshI'm still furious with you," she murmured, kissing a line down his chest.
"Oh, God, please don't be furious," he choked out quickly. "Every female I know is furious with me. Rosalyn throws tantrums, and Charlotte hasn't spoken to me or written since you left." He moved his hands to unbutton her gown. "The morning I thought you'd sailed out of my life I started drinking and didn't stop until I'd finished two bottles. For three days I had a blistering headache, and Nedda couldn't for the life of her stop banging things." He groaned. "And I can't even begin to tell you about your sisters.
Tag: love funny angry sarcastic
Caroline's lips thinned, her face flushed. "My husband, sir, has more secrets in his tiny, insignificant mind than the entire British War Department has had on file since its inception." She huffed with pure, disgusted outrage, lowering her gaze to the floor to murmur, "I'll kill him.
Adele AshworthTag: funny sarcastic husband-and-wife
Girls, on the other hand, have always come easy. I don't know why that is, exactly. Maybe it's the outsider vibe and a well-placed brooding look. Maybe it's something I think I see sometimes in the mirror, something that reminds me of my father. Or maybe I'm just damn easy on the eyes.
Kendare BlakeTag: love funny attraction anna sarcastic anna-dressed-in-blood cas cassio
I started down but Sam caught my arm and knelt down himself to look.
"For crying out loud," he said. "It's a racoon."
"Poor thing," I said.
"It could be a rabid baby-killer," Cole told me primly.
"Shut up," Sam said pleasantly.
Tag: funny grace-brisbane sam-roth sarcastic cole-st-clair prim wolves-of-mercy-falls rabid racoon
Mum said earlier what a lovely dress
you’re wearing.”
Beryl’s eyebrows wriggled like two tiny tapeworms. “This?” she said. “But I’ve had this for years.”
It was a beige dress that would have looked better on an eighty year-old. Any eighty-year-old, man or woman.
“I think you’ve really grown into it,” Valkyrie said.
“I always thought it was a little shapeless.”
Valkyrie resisted the urge to say that was what she meant.
Tag: style sarcastic shapeless
You think he left a big flashing arrow pointing to a filing cabinet labeled 'Evidence Here!'? He's a Stray, Ethan, not Wile E. Coyote!
Rachel VincentTag: funny prey sarcastic faythe-sanders ethan-sanders
The logic behind patriotism is a mystery. At least a man who believes that his own family or clan is superior to all others is familiar with more than 0.000003% of the people involved.
Criss JamiTag: humor family people belief nationalism patriotism patriotic funny arrogance logic sarcasm statistics mystery illogical pride true country superiority superior inferiority nation bias funny-but-true patriot clan irrational sarcastic percent arrogant inferior estimate estimated estimation percentage prideful stat statistic stats
In every day and in every way, we're all that much closer to death.
Charles AtkinsTag: humor sarcastic charles-atkins
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