Janna knew - Rikki knew — and I knew, too — that becoming Dr Cameron West wouldn't make me feel a damn bit better about myself than I did about being Citizen West. Citizen West, Citizen Kane, Sugar Ray Robinson, Robinson Crusoe, Robinson miso, miso soup, black bean soup, black sticky soup, black sticky me. Yeah. Inside I was still a fetid and festering corpse covered in sticky blackness, still mired in putrid shame and scorching self-hatred. I could write an 86-page essay comparing the features of Borderline Personality Disorder with those of Dissociative Identity Disorder, but I barely knew what day it was, or even what month, never knew where the car was parked when Dusty would come out of the grocery store, couldn't look in the mirror for fear of what—or whom—I'd see.
~ Dr Cameron West describes living with DID whilst studying to be a psychologist.
Tag: self-esteem psychology shame memory mental-health dissociation mental-illness child-abuse multiple-personalities trauma survivor abuse mental-health-stigma child-sexual-abuse incest dissociative-identity-disorder multiple-personality-disorder split-personality psychologist diagnosis self-blame survivor-of-abuse psychiatric abusive-parents did pedophiles child-range
We are so used to our own history, we do not see it as remarkable or out of the ordinary, whereas others might see it as horrendous. Further, we tend to minimize that which we feel shameful about.
Patrick J. CarnesTag: shame mental-health sexual-anorexia minimizing-issues
Abuse manipulates and twists a child’s natural sense of trust and love. Her innocent feelings are belittled or mocked and she learns to ignore her feelings. She can’t afford to feel the full range of feelings in her body while she’s being abused—pain, outrage, hate, vengeance, confusion, arousal. So she short-circuits them and goes numb. For many children, any expression of feelings, even a single tear, is cause for more severe abuse. Again, the only recourse is to shut down. Feelings go underground.
Laura DavisTag: innocence love trust shame guilt manipulation healing child-abuse abuse repressed-feelings
I do believe that when a man confesses to his neighbor and says he's sorry, he thinks more of him than he did before. You see, we all know we have done wrong, but we haven't usually confessed it. And it's a funny thing, but when the time comes when there's something he needs to repent of himself, he hesitates for fear of the shame of having to confess it. To me the shame lies in not confessing after you know you're in the wrong.
George MacDonaldTag: shame wrong right repent confess
Ricky just listens. He isn't shocked. He isn't surprised. He listens to me because he knows. He knows the shame and the guilt and the sorrow and the rage. And he does not judge me. He just listens.
Emily AndrewsTag: fear rage sadness sorrow judgement shame anger depression surprise listening child-abuse judging shock
Mind chatter: a clatter of left-brain rains of doubt, worry, guilt, shame in a thunderstorm of fear. Forgive the chatter, clear your mind.
Soul DancerTag: fear doubt rain mind chatter shame spirituality worry guilt personal-growth brain personal-development awakening forgive thunderstorm clatter professional-development
The book of Jonah becomes an embarrassing and public reading of your family business.
Michael Ben ZehabeTag: shame alienation commentary quitting homeschool jonah family-business
I truly believe I am not afraid of death. What I shrink from, I believe, is the shame of dying as stupid and befuddled as I am.
J.M. CoetzeeCulture alone cannot explain the phenomena of such high rates of eating disorders.
Eating disorders are complex, but what they all seem to have in common is the ability to distract women from the memories, sensations, and experience of the sexual abuse through starving, bingeing, purging, or exercising. They keep the focus on food, body image, weight, fat, calories, diets, miles, and other factors that women focus on during the course of an eating disorder. These disorders also have the ability to numb a woman from the overwhelming emotions resulting from the sexual abuse — especially loss of control, terror, and shame about her body. Women often have a combination of eating disorders in in their history. Some women are anorexic during one period of their life, bulimic during another, and compulsive eaters at yet another stage.
Tag: women shame emotions culture body-image sexual-abuse eating-disorders child-sexual-abuse bulimic binge overwhelming anorexic compulsive body-shame numbe purge
We may also discover that sexual abuse helps to explain the high prevalence rates of eating disorders among women and may lend some insight into why we are starting to see more documentation of eating disorders among boys as we see the reports of sexual abuse for male children increasing. Culture alone cannot explain the phenomena of such high rates of eating disorders.
Karen A. DuncanTag: boys men shame culture body-image sexual-abuse eating-disorders child-sexual-abuse male-sexual-abuse
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