Basia coquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is."
"It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' 'The descent into hell is easy," said Alec. "You just said "Kiss the cook."
"Dammit," said Simon. "I knew Jace was screwing with me.

Cassandra Clare

Tag: humor simon-lewis alec-lightwood



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I've noticed the Fair Folk often say 'perhaps' when there is a truth they want to hide," Clary said. "It keeps you from having to give a straight answer."
"Perhaps so," said the Queen with an amused smile.
"'Mayhap' is a good word too," Alec suggested.
"Also 'perchance,'" Izzy said.
"I see nothing wrong with 'maybe'," said Simon. "A little modern, but the gist of the idea comes across.

Cassandra Clare

Tag: clary-fray isabelle-lightwood simon-lewis alec-lightwood



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What have you done to my cat?" Magnus demanded... "You drank his blood, didn't you? You said you weren't hungry!"
Simon was indignant. "I did not drink his blood. He's fine!" He poked the Chairman in the stomach. The cat yawned. "Second, you asked me if I was hungry when you were ordering pizza, so I said no, because I can't eat pizza. I was being polite."
"That doesn't get you the right to eat my cat."
"Your cat is fine!" Simon reached to pick up the tabby, who jumped indignantly to his feet and stalked off the table. "See?"
"Whatever.

Cassandra Clare

Tag: cat magnus-bane simon-lewis



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I'll take Shadowhunter, then. Because from what I've experienced of vampires, you mostly suck. No pun intended.

Cassandra Clare

Tag: puns simon-lewis



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Is your inner vampire different from your...outer vampire?'
'Definitely. He wants me to wear midriff-baring shirts and a fedora.'
'So your inner vampire is Magnus?

Cassandra Clare

Tag: clary-fray simon-lewis



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I don't know who Azazel is," he said. "Isn't he the cat from The Smurfs?" He cast about , but Isabelle just looked up and rolled her eyes at him.
"Clary?" he thought
Her voice came through, tinged with alarm. "What is it? What happened? Did my mom find out I'm gone?"
"Not yet," he thought back. "Is Azazel the cat from The Smurfs?" There was a long pause. "That's Azrael, Simon. And no more using the magic rings for Smurf questions.

Cassandra Clare

Tag: clary-fray simon-lewis smurfs



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Is it really love to tell someone that if it came down to picking between them and every other life on the planet, you’d pick them? Is that — I don’t know, is that a moral sort of love at all?'
'Love isn’t moral or immoral,' said Clary. 'It just is.'
'I know,' Simon said. 'But the actions we take in the name of love, those are moral or immoral.

Cassandra Clare

Tag: love clary-fray simon-lewis



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I hope you told him you were bitten by a gay spider.

Cassandra Clare

Tag: magnus-bane simon-lewis alec-lightwood



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I've got the Mark of Cain," said Simon. "That means nothing can kill me, right?"
"You can kill yourself," Magnus said, somewhat unhelpfully. "As far as I know, inanimate objects can accidentally kill you. So if you were planning on teaching yourself the lambada on a greased platform over a pit full of knives, I wouldn't."
"There goes my Saturday.

Cassandra Clare

Tag: humor funny the-mortal-instruments magnus-bane simon-lewis cassandra-clare city-of-lost-souls lambada mark-of-cain



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Isabelle snorted, "All the boys are gay. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon."
"You noticed," said Simon.
"I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual," added Magnus.
"Please never say those words in front of my parents," said Alec.

Cassandra Clare

Tag: humor funny gay bisexual isabelle-lightwood magnus-bane simon-lewis mortal-instruments alec-lightwood cassandra-clare city-of-lost-souls



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