Le migliori citazioni sulla Terra!

It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.

If by some bizarre chance there turns out to be a god [...], I'm willing to bet he's an atheist too.

I'm off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely.

If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!

I know it's a really hard concept to process, but the fact that Govt accuses someone of being a Terrorist doesn't mean they are.

After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.

Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.

It's when the 'international community' expresses 'concern' about your 'situation' that your situation is well and truly fucked.

The hallmark of an authoritarian idiot is yelling TERRORIST-LOVER! at anyone questioning the definition of Terrorist.

Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.

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