I'm starved." -Juli
"How can you be starved? You just ate a huge bowl of popcorn." -Elspeth
"Popcorn isn't food, it's popcorn." -Vicki
Tag: food comedy vampires sisters immortals
In the center of the room Sarra the demon hung upside down by one leg, its arms bound behind its back, its suit scuffed-looking. Beneath it, crawling around an intricately scribed circle, a woman with short, curly red hair drew binding symbols with a gold stick.
She looked up as I fanned away the smoke that was billowing up from the crack in the tile. "You're a Summoner. Hullo. I'm Noelle. Did you know that you have mismatched eyes?"
I walked around the demon. It glared at me. "Yes, I know. Why do you have Sarra strung up by one leg?"
She drew another symbol. It flared bright green as soon as the stick lifted from the circle. "It was getting a bit stroppy with me. The Hanged Man always teaches them a few manners. It's retaliating with the smoke. Are those spirits I saw yours, then?"
"Yes, they are. There are four others as well. I hate to be a bother, but I'm in a bit of a hurry, what with Christian being held by this one's master and all, so if you could possibly just give me the abbreviated version of what's going on here, I'll be on my way to rescue him."
She leaned back on her heels and sucked the tip of her gold stick. "Asmodeus, eh?"
The demon snarled. A chunk of ceiling fell behind me. We both ignored it. It just never does to give a demon the satisfaction of knowing it's startled you.
"It's a nasty bag of tricks, but I heard through the demonic grapevine that it was weakened and searching for a suitable sacrifice to regain its power," she added.
"Well, it can't have Christian; he's mine. Back to the demon, if you don't mind…"
She looked up at Sarra, still sucking the stick. "It's a pretty specimen, isn't it? I like the hair gel. Nice touch. The mustache is a bit much, though, don't you think? Makes it look so smarmy."
"Um…"
"I'm destroying it, so I suppose it really doesn't matter."
I blinked and avoided two wine bottles as they flew out of a rack when the demon hissed at the Guardian.
Tag: demon comedy vampires favorite-scene gold-stick summoner
We have had this discussion before. You are my son. I love you. I will always love you. But I also love Nell, and if you give her the chance and stop rejecting her advances, she will take you into her heart as well."
"Oh, yeah, like he's going to allow me to do that," I muttered
Tag: love denial comedy vampires nell
You think I'm deranged! How refreshing. Everyone here takes me so seriously, it's a wonderful change to be thought mentally deficient.
Katie MacAlisterTag: insanity comedy vampires slow meredith
I ground my teeth. "Just when I thought I was getting a handle on this whole Dark One/demon lord/imp thing, you go and throw knockers into the mix. I'm going to have to request that you stop, Adrian. I'm about at my limit of how many impossible things I can believe before breakfast."
He flashed a heart-stoppingly roguish grin at me, his dimples just about bringing me to my knees. "Your middle name wouldn't be Alice, would it?" he asked.
"No, it's Diane, and you're no White Rabbit, so let's just stop pretending we're in Wonderland, OK?"
He laughed and pointed across the tiny square at our destination. I watched him for a moment, seeing a glimpse of the charming, charismatic man he must have been before the demon lord cursed him and leeched away all the softer emotions.
Tag: love alice-in-wonderland comedy vampires limit rabbit-hole
I don't like this."
"I know you don't, my little spaetzel. But I am too worn out to run from both the police and your murderous twin, and Damian's looking peaky, plus Christian did apologize for trying to kill us earlier."
"I wasn't talking about that. It's your lamentable habit of using completely unsuitable love names for me that gives me grief," Adrian groused. "I am not a lambypie, nor am I a spaetzel.
Tag: comedy vampires annoyance love-names
Aryans?" I asked, thinking I must have heard the word incorrectly.
Christian and Allie nodded.
"Aryans as in white supremacist, those sorts of Aryans?"
"Yes," Christian said.
"Neo-Nazis?" My mind was having a hard time grasping the idea of a power-hungry vampire leading an army of Hitler's Youth. "Skinheads and their ilk?"
"Hasi, what is it you find so unbelievable?" Adrian asked, a smile in his voice.
"Oh, I don't know. I guess I just expected that any army Saer raised would be… you know… the evil undead." Everyone just looked at me. "Oh, yeah, I guess you're right. Neo-Nazis are more or less the evil undead. Right. So we have Saer about to attack at any moment with a bunch of goose-stepping Nazis. Great. Anyone here do a really good Winston Churchill impression?
Tag: comedy vampires armies aryans evil-undead winston-churchill
You took a bath without me?"
I smiled to myself at the accusation in his voice.
Tag: love comedy vampires bath accusation
Saer is a great big poop, and you shouldn't listen to anything he says," I said, panting just a little.
"Obviously, he was trying to demoralize me."
"Men who are poops demoralize people all the time," I agreed
Tag: comedy vampires demoralize
There is darkness inside all of us, though mine is more dangerous than most. Still, we all have it—that part of our soul that is irreparably damaged by the very trials and tribulations of life. We are what we are because of it, or perhaps in spite of it. Some use
it as a shield to hide behind, others as an excuse to do unconscionable things. But, truly, the darkness is simply a piece of the whole, neither good nor evil unless you make it so. It
took a witch, a war, and a voodoo queen to teach me that.
Tag: self-acceptance darkness balance personal-growth vampires cin-craven
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