Hypocrisy is a quality found in others. I am an optimist. I believe that saying the right thing will eventually cause people to do the right thing for me.
BauvardSpending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden.
BauvardSomewhere in the background of magnificence lurks the kitchen staff. But a magnificent person only forgets about his origins, never his brunch.
BauvardThe idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.
BauvardStichwörter: humor funny idealism
When it’s not enough to veto your children’s tendencies, you must in vitro them.
BauvardBe true to your divided selves. They're the only ones who will support you in moments of vacillation.
BauvardI love the smell of a new book, but I prefer inhaling fresh bottles of ink and glue. They get me more lightheaded – unless I read the book.
BauvardStichwörter: humor books funny
I lacked the knowledge of linear perspective needed to get into the art school, so now I whitewash walls and imagine I’m heaven’s landscape painter.
BauvardStichwörter: humor heaven funny painting
Trees are corrupting our parks. They should be arrested for loitering. For deciduous trees, add littering and indecent exposure to that list of offenses.
BauvardStichwörter: humor funny trees
Rioter: a person who wants dinner, and needs a TV to eat it with.
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