Hypocrisy is a quality found in others. I am an optimist. I believe that saying the right thing will eventually cause people to do the right thing for me.

Bauvard


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Spending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden.

Bauvard


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Somewhere in the background of magnificence lurks the kitchen staff. But a magnificent person only forgets about his origins, never his brunch.

Bauvard


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The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor funny idealism



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When it’s not enough to veto your children’s tendencies, you must in vitro them.

Bauvard


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Be true to your divided selves. They're the only ones who will support you in moments of vacillation.

Bauvard


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I love the smell of a new book, but I prefer inhaling fresh bottles of ink and glue. They get me more lightheaded – unless I read the book.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor books funny



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I lacked the knowledge of linear perspective needed to get into the art school, so now I whitewash walls and imagine I’m heaven’s landscape painter.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor heaven funny painting



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Trees are corrupting our parks. They should be arrested for loitering. For deciduous trees, add littering and indecent exposure to that list of offenses.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor funny trees



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Rioter: a person who wants dinner, and needs a TV to eat it with.

Bauvard


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