He tried not to laugh, but he wasn't good at controlling all the laughter that lived inside of him.
Benjamin Alire SáenzStichwörter: laughter dante ari
Summer was here again. Summer, summer, summer. I loved and hated summers. Summers had a logic all their own and they always brought something out in me. Summer was supposed to be about freedom and youth and no school and possibilities and adventure and exploration. Summer was a book of hope. That's why I loved and hated summers. Because they made me want to believe.
Benjamin Alire SáenzStichwörter: summer
He drags it out of her, all those feelings she has.
Benjamin Alire SáenzEven though summers were mostly made of sun and heat, summers for me were about the storms that came and went. And left me feeling alone.
Did all boys feel alone?
The summer sun was not meant for boys like me. Boys like me belonged to the rain.
What do you love, Ari? What do you really love?"
"I love the desert. God, I love the desert."
"It's so lonely."
"Is it?"
Dante didn't understand. I was unknowable.
Yeah, I had all kinds of tragic reasons for feeling sorry for myself. Being fifteen didn't help. Sometimes I thought that being fifteen was the worst tragedy of all.
Benjamin Alire SáenzEveryone expected something from me. Something I just couldn't give.
Benjamin Alire SáenzI stared at the reproduced mural in the book--but I was more interested in his finger as he tapped the book with approval. That finger had pulled a trigger in a war. That finger had touched my mother in tender ways I did not fully comprehend. I wanted to talk, to say something, to ask questions. But I couldn't. All the words were stuck in my throat. So I just nodded.
Benjamin Alire SáenzTalking to myself in my journal qualified as talking to someone my own age.
Benjamin Alire SáenzThose words tasted bitter.
But the worst part was that those words were living inside me. And they were leaking out of me. Words were not things you could control. Not always.
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