But I had learned to hide what I felt. No, that's not true. There was no learning involved. I had been born knowing how to hide what I felt.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz


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But love was always something heavy for me. Something I had to carry.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz


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Words could be like food - they felt like something in your mouth. They tasted like something.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Stichwörter: words



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I wondered what that was like, to hold someone’s hand. I bet you could sometimes find all of the mysteries of the universe in someone’s hand.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz


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Summer had come and gone. Summer had come and gone. And the world was ending.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz


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I hated when Rafael said he hated himself. Sometimes he would say something like that. I just didn’t like hearing that. Why would he want to hate himself? Okay, people don’t really want to hate themselves. I get that. It comes from somewhere deep inside and getting to that place is hard as hell. I get that too. This is my theory: the people who shouldn’t hate themselves, do hate themselves. And the people who should hate themselves, don’t hate themselves. The world is all backwards. See, this is one of the many reasons why God and I are not good friends.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz


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Stop it,” I said. “Just stop it!” I knew I was starting to cry and I was so sick, sick, sick to death of all those sad damned tears I had inside me. How could I have so many tears living there, in my body? How could they fit? When was it going to stop? When?

Benjamin Alire Sáenz


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You know, the thing about not talking very much is that people think you’re mature. They make things up about you.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz


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I didn’t think it was my job to accept what everyone said I was and who I should be.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Stichwörter: identity self-awareness



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I decided that maybe we left each other alone too much. Leaving each other alone was killing us.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Stichwörter: solitude loneliness



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