To the most inconsiderate asshole of a friend,
I’m writing you this letter because I know that if I say what I have to say
to your face I will probably punch you.
I don’t know you anymore.
I don’t see you anymore.
All I get is a quick text or a rushed e-mail from you every few days. I
know you are busy and I know you have Bethany, but hello? I’m supposed to
be your best friend.
You have no idea what this summer has been like. Ever since we were
kids we pushed away every single person that could possibly have been our
friend. We blocked people until there was only me and you. You probably
haven’t noticed, because you have never been in the position I am in now.
You have always had someone. You always had me. I always had you. Now
you have Bethany and I have no one.
Now I feel like those other people that used to try to become our friend,
that tried to push their way into our circle but were met by turned backs. I
know you’re probably not doing it deliberately just as we never did it deliberately.
It’s not that we didn’t want anyone else, it’s just that we didn’t need
them. Sadly now it looks like you don’t need me anymore.
Anyway I’m not moaning on about how much I hate her, I’m just trying
to tell you that I miss you. And that well . . . I’m lonely.
Whenever you cancel nights out I end up staying home with Mum and
Dad watching TV. It’s so depressing. This was supposed to be our summer
of fun. What happened? Can’t you be friends with two people at once?
I know you have found someone who is extra special, and I know you
both have a special “bond,” or whatever, that you and I will never have. But
we have another bond, we’re best friends. Or does the best friend bond disappear
as soon as you meet somebody else? Maybe it does, maybe I just
don’t understand that because I haven’t met that “somebody special.” I’m
not in any hurry to, either. I liked things the way they were.
So maybe Bethany is now your best friend and I have been relegated to
just being your “friend.” At least be that to me, Alex. In a few years time if
my name ever comes up you will probably say, “Rosie, now there’s a name I
haven’t heard in years. We used to be best friends. I wonder what she’s doingnow; I haven’t seen or thought of her in years!” You will sound like my mum
and dad when they have dinner parties with friends and talk about old times.
They always mention people I’ve never even heard of when they’re talking
about some of the most important days of their lives. Yet where are those
people now? How could someone who was your bridesmaid 20 years ago not
even be someone who you are on talking terms with now? Or in Dad’s case,
how could he not know where his own best friend from college lives? He
studied with the man for five years!
Anyway, my point is (I know, I know, there is one), I don’t want to be
one of those easily forgotten people, so important at the time, so special, so
influential, and so treasured, yet years later just a vague face and a distant
memory. I want us to be best friends forever, Alex.
I’m happy you’re happy, really I am, but I feel like I’ve been left behind.
Maybe our time has come and gone. Maybe your time is now meant to be
spent with Bethany. And if that’s the case I won’t bother sending you this letter.
And if I’m not sending this letter then what am I doing still writing it?
OK I’m going now and I’m ripping these muddled thoughts up.
Your friend,
Rosie
Stichwörter: letter
Deep down, underneath all his layers of stupidity, he’s a really good
man. He may act out far too many selfish thoughts, says all the wrong things
at all the wrong times, but behind closed doors he’s a best friend. I understand
that he has idiotic tendencies and I can still love him for it. He may not
be someone that you feel comfortable sitting next to at a dinner party but for
me, he’s someone that I feel comfortable sharing my life with.
We have a long way to go to
being the perfect couple, we certainly don’t live the fairy tale marriage, he
doesn’t shower me with rose petals and fly me to Paris on weekends but
when I get my hair cut, he notices. When I dress up to go out at night, he
compliments me. When I cry, he wipes my tears. When I feel lonely, he
makes me feel loved. And who needs Paris, when you can get a hug?
Aim for something Rosie, I know you don’t want to hear it, but it will
help. Aim for what you want and the year will all make sense. Go to Boston
if that will make you happy. Study hotel management like you’ve always
wanted.
You’re only young Rosie, and I know that you absolutely hate to hear
that but it’s true. What seems tragic now won’t even be an issue in a few
love, rosie 29
years time. You’re only 17. You and Alex have the rest of your lives to catch
up together . . . After all, soul mates always end up together. Silly Bethany
won’t even be remembered in a few years time. Ex-girlfriends are easily forgotten.
Best friends stay with you forever.
That was all part of giving someone a piece of your heart; they ended up taking a whole chunk of your mind and reserving it all for themselves.
Cecelia AhernIf you love something, let it go. if it was meant to be, it will come back to you.
Cecelia AhernLife is funny isn’t it? Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, just when you finally begin to plan something, get excited about something, and feel like you know what direction you’re heading in, the paths change, the signs change, the wind blows the other way, north is suddenly south, and east is west, and you’re lost. It is so easy to lose your way, to lose direction. And that’s with following all the signposts
Cecelia AhernThere aren’t many sure things in life, but one thing I know for sure is
that you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. You have to follow
through on some things.
It’s hard for everyone isn’t it? Anyone who says it’s easy is a liar. There’s
this huge divide between me and Alex right now because I feel like we’re living
in such different worlds, I don’t know what to talk about with him anymore.
And we used to be able to talk all night. He phones once a week and I
listen to what he’s been up to during the week and try to bite my tongue
every time I go into another Katie story. Truth is I have nothing other to talk
about but her and I know it bores people. I think I used to be interesting
once upon a time.
I think I need to face
what I could have been in order to understand and accept what I am.
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