if everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane(T-Shirt)

Darynda Jones

Stichwörter: humorous-quotations



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In Cookie's defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.

Darynda Jones


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Every night in my dreams, a man appeared from the darkest recesses of my mind, as if he'd been waiting for me to fall asleep. His mouth, full, masculine, would sear my flesh. His tongue, like flames across my skin, would send tiny sparks quaking through my body. Then he would dip south, and the heavens would open and a chorus singing hallelujah would ring out in perfect harmony.

Darynda Jones

Stichwörter: reyes dream-guy charley-davidson



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You either fainted or you wanted a much closer look at the cracks in the tile. Either way, you hit hard."

"Seriously?"

He nodded. "Maybe you shouldn't have been trying to make out with him," he suggested.

How did he know that? "I was kissing him good-bye."

He snorted and exchanged glances with the nurse. "That's not what it looked like to me."

Probably not. But what happened? Could Reyes Farrow take control over me even from a freaking coma? I was doomed.

Darynda Jones

Stichwörter: coma reyes charley-davidson



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Garrett must have sensed I was awake. "Hey Detective," he said to Uncle Bob, who was now trudging across the grating toward us. "I think we're losing her. I have no choice but to perform mouth-to-mouth."

"Don't you dare," I said, my lids still in lockdown.

Darynda Jones

Stichwörter: charley-davidson garrett mouth-to-mouth



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He'd been in surgery for-like-ever, then in recovery, but they put him in a room because, despite the amount of blood loss, his wounds were no longer life threatening. "You here to get in my pants?" he asked.

"You're not wearing any pants," I reminded him. "You're wearing a girly gown with a built-in ass ventilator.

Darynda Jones

Stichwörter: charley-davidson ass-ventilator garrett-swopes



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While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned ADD.

Darynda Jones


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Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.

Darynda Jones


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We really should get some X-rays,” the EMT said.
“You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT.

Darynda Jones


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You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him.
“Throw that in my face.”
“Technically, you don’t have a face either.

Darynda Jones


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