Hey,” I said before he could say anything else that would make the mood even weirder or break it entirely. “You wanna grab some coffee or something someday? I mean, some time when I’m not crawling with maggots,” I added with a laugh that sounded nervous to my own ears and probably sounded desperate and pathetic to his. I totally braced myself for him to hem and haw and say that he couldn’t or had a girlfriend or something. I was shocked instead when he gave me a nod.
“That sounds nice. And I’m cool with the no maggots thing too.
Stichwörter: humor-irony-death-zombie
But then again, I was about as far from touchy-feely as you could get. Unless you’re fucking me, don’t put your hands on me.
Diana RowlandStichwörter: humor-irony-death-zombie
It reminds me of an old joke: What did the Zombie say to the whore?"
I looked at him blankly. "Um....what?"
He winked. "Keep the tip.
Stichwörter: humor-irony-death-zombie
That is a zombie..... Holy fucking shit. That's a mother fucking zombie and this shit is real.
Diana RowlandStichwörter: humor-irony-death-zombie
The pudding lived up to its name. And nothing fell off that wasn't supposed to.
Diana RowlandUnless you're fucking me, don't put your hands on me.
Diana RowlandStichwörter: humor funny zombie
What did the zombie say to the whore?
Keep the tip!
Stichwörter: joke zombies vaginal-fantasy
Hell, right now my only weapons were Obnoxious and Snark, and I intended to use them whenever possible.
Diana RowlandStichwörter: demons kara-gillian
Had I managed to fall into some sort of carnivorous plant? Yeah, bleed on the man-eating plant. Always a good plan.
Diana RowlandI just can't believe you fucked that thing !" he retorted, voice rough with what I coud only assume was utter distain. "Why... why would you do that ?"
(...)
"Because I'm lonely ! " I exploded, standing and nearly tipping the stool over. "Because I've only ever had two boyfriends, and they were shitty in bed, and they never stayed very long anyway. I had this incredibly gorgeous guy wanting to kiss me and make love to me and I wanted it. I don't I have many friends. I mean, shit ! I know he was just trying to get something from me, but y'know what ? I wanted something from him too. I wanted to be touched and wanted and to feel - for a few fucking minutes - that I was sexy and desirable. And to feel - for a few fucking minutes - a way I knew I'd never felt before and would probably never feel again !".
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