Hey,” I said before he could say anything else that would make the mood even weirder or break it entirely. “You wanna grab some coffee or something someday? I mean, some time when I’m not crawling with maggots,” I added with a laugh that sounded nervous to my own ears and probably sounded desperate and pathetic to his. I totally braced myself for him to hem and haw and say that he couldn’t or had a girlfriend or something. I was shocked instead when he gave me a nod.
“That sounds nice. And I’m cool with the no maggots thing too.
Mots clés humor-irony-death-zombie
But then again, I was about as far from touchy-feely as you could get. Unless you’re fucking me, don’t put your hands on me.
Diana RowlandMots clés humor-irony-death-zombie
It reminds me of an old joke: What did the Zombie say to the whore?"
I looked at him blankly. "Um....what?"
He winked. "Keep the tip.
Mots clés humor-irony-death-zombie
That is a zombie..... Holy fucking shit. That's a mother fucking zombie and this shit is real.
Diana RowlandMots clés humor-irony-death-zombie
The pudding lived up to its name. And nothing fell off that wasn't supposed to.
Diana RowlandUnless you're fucking me, don't put your hands on me.
Diana RowlandWhat did the zombie say to the whore?
Keep the tip!
Mots clés joke zombies vaginal-fantasy
Hell, right now my only weapons were Obnoxious and Snark, and I intended to use them whenever possible.
Diana RowlandMots clés demons kara-gillian
Had I managed to fall into some sort of carnivorous plant? Yeah, bleed on the man-eating plant. Always a good plan.
Diana RowlandI just can't believe you fucked that thing !" he retorted, voice rough with what I coud only assume was utter distain. "Why... why would you do that ?"
(...)
"Because I'm lonely ! " I exploded, standing and nearly tipping the stool over. "Because I've only ever had two boyfriends, and they were shitty in bed, and they never stayed very long anyway. I had this incredibly gorgeous guy wanting to kiss me and make love to me and I wanted it. I don't I have many friends. I mean, shit ! I know he was just trying to get something from me, but y'know what ? I wanted something from him too. I wanted to be touched and wanted and to feel - for a few fucking minutes - that I was sexy and desirable. And to feel - for a few fucking minutes - a way I knew I'd never felt before and would probably never feel again !".
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