A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Erma Bombeck

Stichwörter: friendship funny



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Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.

Erma Bombeck


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Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.

Erma Bombeck


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It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows

Erma Bombeck

Stichwörter: humor parenting



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For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.

Erma Bombeck


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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

Erma Bombeck

Stichwörter: marriage



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There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in.

Erma Bombeck


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I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, "I told you so.

Erma Bombeck


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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Erma Bombeck


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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.

Erma Bombeck


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