Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor



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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: low-self-esteem



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[On school uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor school history satire george-carlin uniform



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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humorous



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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.

George Carlin


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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: thinking religion mind atheism



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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

George Carlin


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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.

George Carlin


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Gotta have my make up, in case I run into Joey and he wants to beat the shit out of me. Gotta look my best! Maybe he'll punch me repeatedly in the kidneys and the stomach so it doesn't mark up my face. He's so thoughtful!

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor sarcasm



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Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a...secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control language because that's the way you control thought, and basically that's the game they're in.

George Carlin


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