I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
George CarlinStichwörter: humor patriotism dissent freedom-of-thought
I figured out years ago that the human species is totally fucked and has been for a long time. I also know that the sick, media-consumer culture in America continues to make this so-called problem worse. But the trick, folks, is not to give a fuck. Like me. I really don't
care. I stopped worrying about all this temporal bullshit a long time ago. It's meaningless.
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
George CarlinReligion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!
Stichwörter: humor life religion atheism
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating …and you finish off as an orgasm.
George CarlinScratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
George CarlinStichwörter: disillusionment cynicism idealism
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
George CarlinI was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.
George CarlinConservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
George CarlinBullshit is truly the American soundtrack.
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